Don't look back in anger
by starbuck1985
Summary: Lindsey’s first day at College brings a blast from the past. As she meets the head of the physics department. But why did sara leave?
1. A Blast from the past

-1AN: This is my first attempt at Fan Fic. I thought of the idea and asked my friend to write at as she's fab at it, she said if you think of the idea you have to write it so here it is. I've checked over it a few times but I will more than likely have missed something. Anyway here goes.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters they aren't mine. I'm not that lucky.

Title : Don't look back in anger

Rating: K+

Pairing: Cath/Sara

Summary: Lindsey's first day at College brings a blast from the past. As she meets the head of the physics department………

Chapter 1 - Blast from the past

She couldn't believe how quickly this day had come Lindsey was about to embark on her first day of College. Her baby was a women. The child she raised the baby she loved, her baby girl was all grown up and starting college. She knew this day would come someday, well she hoped it would when Lindsey was around 13 she was scared as to what her daughters life would turn out to be, she was so proud of her only child, she was going to do her mother proud. Knowing Lindsey would be in another state so far away from her made her heart ache, how would she cope without her baby girl. However she knew as much as it hurt to let go Lindsey needed this break, she needed to shine to her full potential needed to become someone her mother dreamed of her becoming.

Catherine looked at the room where her baby would be staying, all Lindsey's things where in place and unpacked she knew she needed to get going and give Lindsey time to settle in and explore the college.

"You know Linds I'm so proud of you, Your gonna have a bright future ahead of you , your gonna do amazing"

"Thanks Mom" Lindsey smiled "And you'll still see me Mom I promise you'll see me at the holidays"

"Lindsey I'm gonna miss you baby" Catherine said taking her daughter into her arms " I want you to know you can ring me at anytime day or night I'm always here for you Linds" She placed a kiss on her daughters forehead and looked into her eyes

"I know Mom and I promise I will, we'll speak lots I'll keep you up to date" Lindsey kissed her Mom on the lips and released herself from her mothers grip

Cath and Lindsey said their goodbyes for a further 15 minutes tears leaving both their eyes.

Cath waited until she got into her taxi before she let the sob escape her throat as the tears flooded from her eyes, she smiled and took several deep breaths 'come on don't do this, your happy, your baby's making something of her life' She looked in the mirror and wiped the mascara that had run down her face from her face 'come on Cath pull yourself together'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lindsey woke up with a splitting headache "Oh my god I've never felt this hung over in my life" she mumbled as she got out of bed "great way to start your first day Linds" she whispered to herself.

Half an hour later Lindsey was up dressed and showered ready for her 'Intro to Physics"

She hear a knock at the door, she casually made her way over opening the door

"Hey Linds you ready for our physics intro" the overly exited brunette women said

"Hey Torri sure lets get moving"

Torri was the first person Lindsey had talked to when she arrives at Harvard from the minute they spoke to each other Lindsey knew that she had made a true friend and she was happy to have someone to go out at night with and have fun. Although with her hangover from hell she was beginning to wish she hadn't had so much fun the night before.

The 2 girls walked happily down the corridor and into the lecture room 103 for there introduction to physics.

Lindsey's eyes focused as she saw a women approach the centre of the stage.

"Hello Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to Harvard Physics I'm Doctor Sara Sidle, I'm the head of the physics department here at Harvard, I would like to take this opportunity to welcome you into the department, Your all about to embark on a new chapter of your life's. I myself studied here and found the course to be enthralling and extremely beneficial. I hope that you will all experience as much enjoyment as I did in my years studying here. Right before I bore you all the death I shall pass you on to my colleague Doctor Dana Fielding "

Lindsey looked at Torri in disbelief

"Oh my god no way, wait till I tell my mom" Lindsey whispered

"What?"

"that's Sara she's a friend of my Mom"

"You never said your Moms friend worked here?"

"That's because I didn't know, I don't think my Mom knows either, I can't wait to tell her, she'll be a bit happier now she knows she's got Sara here to spy on me" Lindsey Laughed

The 2 girls where interrupted by their chatter by the sound of someone clearing their throat, Lindsey look to see Sara looking over at the pair. Sara's face looked angry

"can you 2 stay behind after the lecture and we can go over the things you've missed while you've been gossiping away all way through Doctor Fielding introduction"

Lindsey could feel her cheeks burn and couldn't bring herself to answer luckily Torri picked up on this and replied for the duo

"Yes…….. Erm I'm sorry Doctor Sidle"

"that's ok, do you think you can manage to stay quite for the rest of the introduction?"

Lindsey spoke up " Sorry Sa…. Erm Doctor Sidle we will"

"Good now, lets carry on with the introduction"

The girls listened carefully through the rest of the introduction, trying to stay completely focused on the Lecturers on stage.

"Well Ladies and Gentlemen you are all free to leave, I hope to speak to you all more over the coming weeks and I wish each and everyone of you the best of luck"

The audience clapped as Sara stepped off the stage.

Lindsey and Torri sat fidgeting waiting for the rest of the students to vacate the room, when there was only a few people remaining Lindsey and Torri made their way to the front to face Doctor Sidle.

Sara looked at the 2 girls before her, apparently pissed off at their discussion during the intro

"Right you two does anyone of you care to explain to me what was so important that you felt the need to interrupt Dr Fielding speech???"

"I think you can take this one" Torri said looking over at Lindsey

"I was just telling Torri that I never knew you worked here" Lindsey said avoiding eye contact with the brunette Doctor.

"Excuse me?"

"You don't remember me do you?"

Sara took in the girl before her pretty girl, blonde hair, blue eyes, and then there was the smile 'watch out ladies and gentlemen I see a women who'll capture your hearts, just like Catherine Willows …….. Cat oh my god. It can't be' Sara thought to herself

"Oh my God Lindsey is that you?"

"Yes Sara it is, I didn't know you where a teacher now? Mom never said anything"

"Errrm yes well I don't think she knows, I sorta lost contact with most of the people in Vegas"

"What even uncle Grissom? You 2 where dating right? I'm sure you where at some point, I remember Mom catching you 2 kissing in his office or something right?"

Sara blushed at Lindsey's comment, her colleague was listening in and smiling at Sara as she saw the brunettes face get redder and redder.

Just then the 2 where interrupted my a tug on Lindsey's arm

"Sorry to interrupt but Linds we have to be in room 306 5 minutes ago"

"Well Sara….. Doctor Sidle I gotta go but maybe we could chat sometime catch up on life? I'm sure my Mom would love to know how your getting on. And I'm sorry about before I was so shocked to see you here"

"it's ok Lindsey and yes we'll chat soon I'm sure………… And Linds it's Sara OK?"

"What ever you say Doc" Lindsey said with a smile.

"Bye Doctor Sidle" Torri said waving to Sara as she dragged Lindsey from the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

And with that Lindsay left a stunned Sara lost for words in the corridor. 'Oh my god did that really just happen, what am I going to say to Lindsey, how can I explain anything to her, I can't tell her the reason I'm here. Sara's thoughts drifted from thoughts of Lindsey to thoughts of Catherine, I wonder what she's doing now, I wonder if she's in a relationship, I wonder if she remarried…' Sara stopped her trail of thoughts "I can't do this" she whispered to herself as she walked down the corridor. Tears welling behind her eyes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sara sat in her office her mind flooding with thoughts of her past……

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Please let me know what you think. If it's rubbish I'd sooner know so I can just stop lol


	2. A love that could never be

-1Chapter 2 - A love that could never be

Sara sat in her office remembering her past, remembering why she was sitting here today, remembering the hurt she caused to the 2 people she cared about the most. She could feel a tug at her heart as she remembered how hard it had been to leave the past behind, how easy it seemed sometimes to pretend that her past didn't exist but now seeing Lindsey Willows she knew that the past couldn't stay hidden any longer she was going to have to face the people she left behind and explain her past to the people she had in her life in the present.

She loved Catherine Willows more than she thought possible, but she knew from the start it was just a fantasy something that could never become a reality. Catherine had no interest in her and could never do so, what could she possibly have to offer to someone like Catherine someone so glamorous, sensual, beautiful, amazing, Catherine could easily walk into any room and have the pick of anyone she wanted male or female, why would she ever want anyone like Sara Sidle.

_Sara sat on the sofa in her apartment wrapped in loving arms, but something just didn't feel right as much as she loved this man who wrapped her in love and commitment, she didn't feel complete. She felt empty inside. What was wrong with her she had what she'd wanted for so many years but she felt herself doubting if Gil Grissom was what she ever really wanted._

"_Penny for them?"_

"_it's nothing Griss I'm just tired" Grissom looked down into those big brown eyes_

"_I know you Sara Sidle and I know when you have something on your mind"_

"_Just leave it Gil I don't wanna deal with it right now" Sara's tone was harsh and as she finished her sentence she rose from the sofa and walked over to the chair opposite. She couldn't face looking at the man she left sitting on the sofa but knew she had too._

"_Listen Gil I just want to be alone right now, is that ok?" Gil nodded his head and rose from his sitting position._

"_I'm sorry I know your just trying to be there for me but I just really need to be alone right now, I need time to think….. I'm sorry for snapping at you" Sara didn't maintain eye contact as she spoke the words to her lover. She jumped slightly when she felt to hand on either shoulder_

"_When you want to talk you know where I am" He said kissing the younger women's forehead and leaving her, making his way to the door._

_When Sara heard the door close she lowered her head into her hand and began to sob 'what the fuck is wrong with me? Why can't I be happy with what I have, he loves me, and I love him and yet still I can't be happy, still I want more. I always want the unattainable, why, why, why?'_

_Sara sat in her position for over an hour thinking about what she had, all the good things in her life. She had everything she thought she wanted that she could possibly have and still her mind was flooded with images of the one person she couldn't have, the one person she would never have, the one person she loved more than she'd loved any living soul….. Catherine Willows._

_What made things even more wrong was the fact that Catherine had no idea how she felt and there's no way she ever would. Sara knew that she could never be strong enough to stand in front of Catherine and tell her how she felt about her, how much she meant to her. She'd tried to make a friendship with the older women, she's tried to be friends, she'd made effort on occasion but every time the blonde women would knock her back. She asked her for breakfast a few times and everything Catherine always had other plans or was tired. At least that was in the beginning……._

**KNOCK KNOCK**

Sara was brought back from her thoughts when she heard knocking on her office door. She walked over to the door and reached for the handle, she quickly realised she had had wet cheeks where her tears had fell, she quickly wiped her eyes and opened the door.

"Hey Sara you ok?"

"Hey Dana yes, come in sorry just feeling a bit tired, finally back to term time, I'm not used to there being so many people around, it's tiring" Sara lied forcing a smile as she walked over to her chair behind the solid oak desk.

Dana followed Sara into the office and took a seat facing. Not buying Sara's excuse for a minute but she could see that her friend didn't want to talk about things.

"It's been a hell of a day hasn't it? So many new faces, they seem like a good bunch though, think we may have a few genius' in the midst"

Sara and Dana both laughed at the comment

"yes I think where gonna have a good teaching year, so many young faces dying to be filled with knowledge, so many hopeful futures among them. That's why I love my job, knowing that where doing some good, these kids are gonna be the future there gonna shine so bright do us and their parent proud"

"How very nostalgic of you Doctor Sidle" Dana laughed

"Yes I know I don't know where that same from" Sara Laughed.

"So who's the Willows girl? And what's this I hear about you kissing her uncle in his office, Sidle you rebel"

Sara forced a weak smile

"It's the past Dane, Lindsey is the daughter of an old Colleague of mine from back in Vegas when I was a CSI, and her uncle isn't really her uncle, he was mine and her mothers boss, but we where a close team, like one big family, especially Catherine, Lindsey's mother and Grissom they've been friends for years, so Lindsey calls him uncle Grissom, But he's called Gil…….. Gil Grissom "

Dana's jaw dropped

"You and your boss, Sidle you hussy!"

Sara's face dropped at the comment. Dana could tell that she'd hit a nerve.

"Sara I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you and I don't really think you're a hussy"

"it's Ok Dane….. can we talk about something else?"

"Well I was here to invite you and Lizzie to Megan's 5th birthday party on Saturday "

"yes that sounds great, I'll wait until Saturday to tell Lizzie though you know how exited she gets about anything"

Sara and Dana both laughed. Dana stood up and stepped from behind the chair

"Well that's settled then I better get going Alex is here with Megan where gonna go out for dinner, I'll see you in the morning Sara"

"Bye Dane have fun and say Hi to Alex and Megan for me I'll see you tomorrow"

Both women waved their goodbyes has Dana walked from the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So are you meeting up with Tim tonight?"

"I don't know Tor do you think I should? I mean it is the first week of college and it all seems a bit rushed. I need to check out the place and of course the guys before I rush into anything with the first guy I meet…. Don't you think?"

"Your call Linds? If your not gonna go we can go explore some more if you want see what the neighbourhoods like around here?"

"yes I think that sounds like a plan"

Lindsey was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone, she reached down for the phone

"3 guess' who this'll be" Linds said to Torri has she flipped the phone open.

"Hello Mom!"

- Hey baby, how's it going?

"it going good Mom met some awesome people and everything's cool"

- That's good baby

"Oh Mom you'll never guess what happened today?"

- You where abducted by aliens?

"No but I saw someone who I thought may have been I haven't seen her in so long. Guess who it was Mom I'll give you 3 guesses"

- Britney Spears

"Mom I don't think your taking this seriously"

- Ok I'm all serious now, come on just tell me Linds you know too many people for me to guess

"Well she's one of your friends, who vanished of the face of the earth, brunette, brown eyes, tall…………. Can you guess yet?"

Lindsey heard her mom swallow hard

"Mom you there"

- Hmmm Yes baby, Linds did you see………. see Sara?

"Well this is a really funny story Mom, anyway me and Tor where in our intro to physics, then this women comes on stage and says hello and welcome and all that and then she introduces herself as the head of physics….. Doctor Sara Sidle. Anyway then she glared at me and Tor for talking and told us we had to stay behind, so I explained that I was just surprised to see her and they she finally realised it was me and she looked like she was gonna have a coronary right there on the spot"

The line stayed silent for a few seconds

"Mom are you there?"

- Yes I'm here honey sorry just a bit shocked I haven't seen Sara in a while…… How is she? Is she ok? Did she say anything I mean…….

"Wow Mom chill, she's fine well she seems so. We didn't talk much because I had to be somewhere but where gonna catch up soon, So now you have no need to worry about me because you have someone to spy on me" Lindsey laughed

"Anyway I really I've gotta get going me and Tor are heading out, but I'll speak to you soon and I'll tell Sara you said Hi, Bye Mom I love you"

- hmmmm yes bye baby I love you too

And with that Lindsey hung up the phone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Catherine sat in the break room lost for words her jaw gapping open. She couldn't believe it all these years of wondering and she finally knew where Sara was. She was teaching at Harvard. 'I wonder if Gil knows I wonder if he still speaks to her? He says he doesn't but maybe he's lying I'm sure he'd know if she was the head of physics at Harvard I'm sure he must speak to the people up there sometime'

"Cath"

"Cath"

"Catherine…….. Are you listening"

Catherine jumped from her thoughts and looked around to see Gil stood before her

"Oh I'm sorry Gil I was just thinking?"

"about Harvard?

"What"

"Harvard you know…. Lindsey"

"Errrm yes Gil sorry I was just thinking about Lindsey" Catherine lied really she was thinking about Sara, she felt a bitter feeling in her stomach she wasn't gonna tell Grissom she knew where Sara was, she didn't want him to know.

"How's she doing?"

"Hmmm…. What?"

"Lindsey how's she doing is she enjoying college?"

"yes I just spoke to her she's met lots of people she's seems happy"

"Well tell her I said Hi when you speak to her again"

"Yes I sure will, thanks for asking after Lindsey…… sorry I'm feeling a bit disorientated tonight, just gonna grab a coffee" Cath said slipping past Grissom

Grissom took his glasses from his head and raised an eye brow.

Catherine took her coffee and headed for her office, throwing a look back at Grissom

"I'm gonna go catch up on some paperwork I'll speak to you later"

Catherine made her way into her office and sat at her desk she pondered the past

_Catherine made her way to the locker room it had been a tough case on all the CSI team. A family of 4 had been slaughtered by their next door neighbour, a happy family Mom, Dad and 2 children a boy of 4 and a girl of 6. The children's bodies where completely unrecognisable and at the site of the scene even Sara had lost composure and shed a tear. _

_As she opened the locker room door her heart sank at the site before her Sara was sat in front of the lockers with her back resting against them, her legs apart, knees raised and her head resting downwards as tears poured from her eyes and sobs escaped her throat. _

_Cath slowly made her way over to Sara and sat on the floor beside her placing a hand on the brunettes shoulder._

"_Hey Sara it's ok, I know it was a tough one, but we got the bastard who did this he's gonna rot in hell" Cath said trying to offer the brunette some comfort._

_Sara couldn't reply, she felt the sobs escape her throat even more. Cath did the only things she could think of to ease Sara's pain, she pulled the brunette closer until the brunette head rested on her shoulder, she pulled Sara into a hug and began to stroke the dark hair._

"_Shhh Sara it's gonna be ok, I've got you, let it all go"_

_Cath was surprised when Sara tightened her hold on began to sob openly in the blonde women's arms. The two stayed that way for over half an hour when Sara's sobs came to an end._

_Sara looked up into Catherine's eyes an smiled a weak smile, causing the blonde women to do the same._

"_Thank you Cath I'm so sorry you had to see me like this?" Sara said avoiding the blue eyes_

_Cath placed 2 fingers under the younger women's chin and raised her head gently until blue eyes met brown eyes. Both eyes reflecting how each women was feeling, both filled with love, compassion and understanding._

"_Hey it's ok Sara, that's what friend are here for to lift each other up when we fall"_

_Sara seemed speechless at the women's words and Cath felt guilt run through her body as she realised that Sara was so shocked to hear the words from her mouth, she felt so guilty for the fact that Sara knew so little about how much she cared about her, that she had never made Sara aware of how much she truly valued and respected her. After several minutes the blonde spoke to the brunette._

"_How are you feeling now? Hun"_

"_I feel much better, I think I'm just gonna go home and sleep it off"_

_Sara said as she raised from her current position, Catherine refused to let the younger women's hand go and stood facing Sara._

"_Ok well if you need someone to talk to you know where I am, and I mean that Sara I'm always here for you I just need you to know that"_

"_I'm…. I…. Thanks Cat you don't know how much that means to me"_

"_I think I do Sara" _

"_Thanks"_

"_Anytime………… if you want to talk give me a call" _

"_Thanks Cat" Sara said as she began to walk away from the Blonde women. _

"_Take care Sara" At that moment Cath did something that shocked both her and Sara without even thinking, as if it was the most natural thing in the world Catherine lent forward and kissed the Sara right on the lips. Both women felt the electricity run through there bodies._

"_I erm, I'm….., I think, erm I think I better get going I'm really tired" Sara stuttered out her words_

_Catherine realised what she'd done has she felt Sara pull her hand free and headed for the door_

"_Shit! Why did I do that"_

"Willows it's the past let it go" Catherine mumbled to herself as she came back to reality.

But could she really leave things in the past, did she have a choice. For so many years she believed that she would never see Sara Sidle again, she believed that there ship had sailed and sank with both women swimming away in opposite directions.

But did that have to be the end…………………..


	3. A Mothers love

Thanks for the feedback :-) i wrote this ages ago but forgot about it. Anyway there is a shock in this chaper unless you already guessed :-) i don't know it if'l be a good surprise or a bad one? anyway here goes:

1_Chapter 3 - A Mothers Love_

Sara woke up at 6.28am waiting for her alarm to sound at 6.30. It was Friday finally, almost time for the weekend, her last day of work for the week. She lay in bed recollecting the events of the past few days. Lindsey Willows she smiled she's so grown up so quickly it didn't seem like yesterday that she was playing with dolls in Cath's office and got exited at the idea of going to the park or for ice cream.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Sara reached over and stopped her alarm, she shifter her legs over and got out of bed. She went through her morning routine as usual, she walked to Lizzie's room checked the child was still sleeping, then quickly took a shower and got her bag packed for work and Lizzie's bag packed for nursery.

She walked into the Childs room and sat on the bed beside the sleeping brunette, she stroked the child's hair and felt the child stare beneath her touch

"Lizzie…. Lizzie baby come on it's time to get up"

The child opened her eyes and peered up at Sara, a smile creeping on her small features

"Mama, Lizzie tired" the child said rubbing her eyes and yawning

Sara smiled and lifted the child into her arms

"I know baby but Mama has to go to work and Lizzie has to go to nursery"

Lizzie nodded as Sara got the child out of bed. The child was bathed and in her clothes for the day within 15 minutes, the child was dressed in light pink dungarees with a pink checked shirt underneath and a tiny pair of pink boots.

Sara sat Lizzie in safety seat at the kitchen table strapping the child in and kissing her on the forehead before leaving the child with a book to play with as she made her way to the kitchen. Sara entered the kitchen and made Lizzie's and her own breakfast she placed the bowl of cereal in front of the infant then sat beside her eating fresh toast and sipping coffee. Sara watched the child eat as she ate her own breakfast helping Lizzie when she needed it.

Sometimes on morning like this when Lizzie was low maintenance and so well behaved Sara loved her life, she had a beautiful daughter who had come to mean the world to her. The moment she held Lizzie in her arms she knew that from that moment on her daughter would be the centre of her universe and since the day Lizzie had been born Sara had been the best mother she knew how to be, she'd done the best for her daughter, she's moved to Boston and got a well paid job at Harvard, she got Lizzie the best childcare possible and spent every given minute she wasn't at work with her daughter.

Sometimes Sara would wonder what it may have been like if she still had Catherine in her life if they could have been friends, or maybe more. Sometimes she felt guilty that Lizzie had never met her father but she believed deep in her heart that she was doing the best thing for her daughter. If she'd stayed in Vegas things wouldn't have worked out, she couldn't raise a child with someone she didn't love., but still she knew she was doing the wrong thing in keeping the child from her father.

"Mama" Lizzie said waving her spoon around

"Lizzie finished her breakfast" The child said proudly with a big smile

"And you've eaten it all up aren't you a good girl" Sara said rising from her seat and collecting the Childs and her own dirty dishes, she put the dishes in the dishwasher and retrieved her daughter from the kitchen.

Sara undid Lizzie's restraints and lifted the child from the chair placing her on the ground. Lizzie toddled into the living room and headed for her toy box.

Sara grabbed her bag and Lizzie's bag and placed them over her shoulder, heading after the child.

"Arrrr No you don't missy, you can play with toy's when you get to nursery, Mama needs to go to work now"

Sara said lifting the child with her free arm and heading to the car.

Sara's morning routine continued as usual, she dropped Lizzie at nursery gave the child a big hug and kiss, then headed off to Harvard to get ready for her first lecture of the day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lindsey and Torri walked down the Harvard corridor smiling and laughing with one another, planning their night and discussing their new friends and possible friends they had made over the past week.

The girls had just had physics which was taught my the head of department herself Doctor Sidle. Lindsey still found it odd Sara being her teacher, she never saw Sara that much as a child but she had fond memories of the time they had spent together, Sara would speak to her like she was an adult and as a child she believed that Sara was her friend as well as her Mom's friend. But now she realises that Sara did it to make her feel like an adult not a child and Lindsey respected Sara for that.

"Hey Tor I'm gonna nip and speak to the Doc"

"Ok sure Linds do you wanna meet up later?"

"Yes sure I'll give you a ring and we can go for lunch, just wanna see what her deal is. I'll see you later OK"

With that Lindsey made her way back into the physics department and to Doctor Sidles office. The girl stood outside the door for a few seconds before knocking.

"Come in" came Sara's response

Lindsey opened the door and peered into the room seeing Sara sat at her desk looking over some papers, Sara looked up to see her stood before her.

"Lindsey Hi…… come in and take a seat" Sara said gesturing to the seats in front of her

"Thanks Doc, well I just thought I'd come say Hello everything was a little rushed the other day….. And I'm really sorry for interrupting Doctor Fielding, I was so shocked to see you and was telling Torri that I knew you"

"Wow Linds take a breath, that's fine don't worry about it, it's in the past now………. And Linds it's Sara Ok?"

"What ever you say Doc……… Sorry Sara but I like Doc" Both women laughed

"So how've you been? I didn't say this to you the other day because everyone else was around…… but Lindsey I'm really proud of you and I'm sure your Mom is too, your making something of your life kiddo"

"Thanks Sara, Mom is really proud of me. You should have seen her face when she left here last week after dropping me off, she was so upset to say goodbye, but I know she's also really happy that I'm here"

Sara froze when she heard Lindsey say that Catherine had been at Harvard a week earlier, Cath had been so close and yet she still didn't get to see her, but then came the question did she really want to see her. Could she really face seeing her after these past 3 years.

"Your Mom was here last week?"

"Yes she came to make sure I settled and make sure I was ok, I think she did it for her more than me she needed to know that I was ok"

"yes I'm sure she needed to know you where ok, you are so far away from her she must miss you so much"

"Yep"

"So Linds you got any gossip for me from Vegas, how are the guys doing….. And your Mom"

"Uncle Grissom got Ecklie's job, he got sacked I don't really know what happened but think it was something to do with a hooker.

Warwick and Tina are expecting a baby, Uncle Grissom was sort of seeing some lady I think her names Heather, Greg's engaged to Mia, and Nick's still the stud he always was, I think he's seeing someone too but I'm not too sure who and Mom well she's not seeing anyone right now, She's been single forever it seems I think she's holding out for someone but she says she's just waiting for the right person to come along. She went through a rough patch a couple of years ago she never left the house other than to go to work and she didn't seem to have any personal life, but she's been going out with Aunt Nancy recently, I think now me and Jeremy are old enough to go it alone they've decided to get a bit of a life" Lindsey laughed

Sara was happy that her friends all seemed to be happy and it didn't surprise her that Grissom was now with Heather, she was happy that he had someone, Catherine being alone on the other hand upset her but also she couldn't help but feel relived, the thought of Catherine being with someone else unnerved her more than she cared to admit.

"I'm glad everyone seems to be happy, I miss them all so much"

"Sara can I ask you something?"

"yes sure Linds…."

"Why don't you speak to them anymore?"

"It's a long story Linds I guess I just left and started over, I do think about them though everyday, sometimes I just think I've left it too long to get back in touch"

"You should call them….. Call Mom I know she'd be happy to hear from you"

"You think?"

"yes I'm sure she would, she talks about you a lot still, when I decided I wanted to go Harvard she said I'd make something of my life and become the next Sara Sidle. She thinks very highly of you. When you left I remember right after she used to say she missed you a lot. When she was sad she always used to say I wish Sara had stayed, but don't tell her I told you that because I was ears dropping"

"Well maybe I will give your Mom a call"

Sara didn't have any intention to call Catherine, she was too scared but she knew that unless she said she would Lindsey would never give up.

"When I told her you where here she seemed really shocked"

'Oh my God!!! She knows where I am' where Sara's immediate thoughts, she knew that Lindsey would tell her Mom she was here but hearing that she knew made Sara panic.

"Yes I can see she would be, I never really had a plan when I left Vegas I just sort of ended up here. I'm glad I did though I like it here and I like my job"

"It's really weird seeing you as a teacher, but I remember when I was a kid you always taught me things in a way I'd understand. You're a good teacher Sara I'm glad you're my teacher and I'm glad I got to see you again"

"Me to Kiddo"

"If I can't call you Doc you can't call me Kiddo I'm 18 Sara"

"Deal"

Both women laughed

"So how about you Sara are you married?"

"No I'm not I never met the right person but there's still time I suppose"

"What happened with you and uncle Grissom……… If you don't mind me asking"

"Erm well it just wasn't meant to be, I liked Grissom a lot, but I don't think I loved him, we dated for almost a year but it just didn't work out"

'and I was madly in love with your mother' Sara thought to herself

"That's a shame but to be honest Sara you seem to much fun for Uncle Grissom he's a good guy but i think you'd be more suited to someone a bit more fun"

'Like your mother' Sara thought

Sara laughed "Thanks Linds I think"

Sara and Lindsey spent an hour talking about the past and about Harvard, Sara told Lindsey if she needed help with anything she knew where she was and Sara again promised to contact Catherine.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

So there it is... Lizzie a good move or bad?

XXX


	4. Confessions

Thank you so much for the feedback :) heers the next chapter :)

Chapter 4 - Confessions

Sara strapped Lizzie in her car seat, checking over everything several times. Lizzie had a huge smile on her face and kept humming to herself. Sara smiled at the child

"Are you exited Lizzie"

"Yes Mama, where going to a party and there will be lots of children and jello, and games and toys" the child beamed

"There will be baby, and don't forget this is Megan's birthday and you get to give her a present"

Lizzie nodded pointing to the pink parcel beside her, wrapped with a huge red bow.

Sara closed the door and climbed into the front of the vehicle, pulling off the driveway and down the street.

Sara and Lizzie where having a fantastic time at the party, Megan had loved the drum kit that Sara and Lizzie had bought her and loved that Lizzie was there, Megan picked the child up several times and tried to feed her jello with a spoon, Lizzie was not impressed by the attempt of feeding her and had cried until Sara had picked her up giver a kiss and let her eat her jello by herself. While the children played happily Sara and Dana chatted about everything. At the end of the party all the children and parents had gone home apart from Sara and Lizzie. Sara and Dana sat talking while Alex tidied up the children's mess.

He walked over to his wife and gave her a kiss. "sorry for interrupting I was wondering if it's ok with you Sara if I take Megan and Lizzie for an ice cream"

"yes that's fine Alex if you don't mind"

"Not at all"

Sara went over to her daughter and gave her a kiss and a hug

"Be a good girl for uncle Alex Lizzie and keep hold of his hand at all times"

"Okay Mama" the little girl said giving her Mom a hug and kiss before walking out of the door with Alex and Megan.

"He's a good guy you got there Dana"

"I know I'm a lucky one"

"Now we just have to get you set up"

Sara laughed

"So what about your old boss how about him?"

"Grissom no way, he's now seeing a dominatrix and to be honest we dated for almost a year it just wasn't built to last, I wasn't in love with…………. There was someone else"

"Do tell Miss Sidle"

"I can't believe I'm actually talking about this but seeing Lindsey Willows has brought of stuff from my past back up"

"Come on Sidle spill, I'm guessing this person is connected to the young Miss Willows?…. Her dad?"

Sara blushed

"Your close but no it wasn't her dad, he died when she was a kid………. It's…… it's"

"Come on Sara you know you can tell me anything?….. Right?"

"it was Lindsey's….. Mom"

"Your kidding me right" Dana said laughing

"No I'm not" Sara's face turned a bright shade of red. Dana sensed that Sara was embarrassed

"Wow I just didn't know you where…… you where…. Erm"

"Gay?"

"Well yes I suppose……. yes"

"neither did I, I mean it was only Catherine I ever felt so strongly about, I mean I'd had crushes on women before but with Catherine it was more than that……. I mean…. I"

"You loved her"

"yes………… yes I did"

"So what happened?"

"Well I always thought she hated me, I mean we never got on, we always kept each other at arms length, never letting the other get close. Then one morning after a really bad case I broke down in her arms and she kissed me….. But at the time I was seeing Grissom and I was so confused, I didn't know if the kiss meant she felt the same way or it was just an accident. But the kiss was amazing, I mean it was just a simple kiss it lasted no more than a second but the way my body reacted to her, I felt like my whole body was on fire, my heart was beating so fast, after that I bolted and left her stood there. Then I avoided her for weeks until my birthday and then…………….and then she walked into Grissom's office and he was kissing me"

_It was Sara's birthday and the whole graveyard shift Catherine included had planned an evening out with Sara, they where all going for a meal and then out to a bar._

_It had been a month since Catherine had kissed Sara and since the 'incident' Catherine and Sara hadn't spoke to each other about anything other than work since. The day of her birthday Sara had decided that she had to finish things with Grissom, it wasn't fare to lead him on any further. She stood outside his office for what seemed like ages before she went in, practicing what she was going to say to him over and over. Sara knocked on the door and awaited Grissom's reply_

"_Come in"_

_Sara took a deep breath and opened the door, she was Grissom sat at his desk examining some dead bug. She walked over and sat on a chair facing him._

"_Grissom we need to talk"_

"_Okay I'm all ears but first there's something I must do" Grissom said as he walked around the table and knelt on the floor in front of Sara taking her head in his hands and brought her mouth level with his for a kiss._

"_hey Griss I'm gonna head home and get changed for Sar………" Catherine stood at the door shell shocked as she saw the sight before her._

_Catherine looked at Sara and Sara saw the pure hurt in her eyes_

"_Sorry" Catherine said as she ran out of the door._

_Sara put her head in her hands and felt the tears build behind her eyes._

_Grissom placed his hands on Sara 's shoulders_

"_hey Sara it's ok, she had to find out some time, Cath is one of my closest friends, it doesn't matter you don't need to get upset, as long as we keep out private life away fr………" Grissom didn't get time to finish as Sara butted in._

"_Grissom will you just listen to me for a minute, it does matter that she knows……….. Because I can't do this any more" Sara said indicating between herself and Grissom "I'm sorry" Sara could feel the tears stinging behind her eyes_

"_Sara what do you mean, Catherine was just shocked because she didn't expect it, she'll be fine don't worry. We can still be together"_

"_We can't Grissom I can't do this anymore I can't be with you………….. It's not working Grissom, I can't give you my heart because I'm not in love with you"_

_Grissom was shocked he took a few steps back and sat in the chair facing Sara_

"_Gil I'm sorry, I do love you………. But I'm not in love with you"_

"_But we………. Sara"_

"_Gil I'm sorry but I'm not"_

"_is there……. Is there someone else Sara?"_

_Sara's face was all the answer Grissom needed_

"_Who Sara? Who is he?"_

"_Grissom it doesn't matter nothing is going to come of it. They don't love me back but I can't live a lie, it's not fare on you"_

"_Sara Who is it?_

"_No Gil I can't!, just forget it please"_

"_You tell me your breaking up with me because you love someone else and expect me just to forgot it………Sara!!!"_

"_I know but I can't tell you who it because……… because, they don't even know. I'm not leaving you to be with someone else Gil, I'm leaving you because I can't be something I'm not…………. I can't be with you when my heart belongs to someone else, whether they know it or not, I can't live a lie anymore"_

"_What do you mean anymore???"_

"_How long have you loved this other person?"_

"_Gil please"_

_The guilty look was clear on Sara's face and her lack of eye contact gave Gil the answer he feared the most._

"_All along Sara…….. All along??" Grissom said as his voice broke and he couldn't fight the tears back any longer._

_Sara walked over to him making an attempted to hold his rigid body but it was no good he pushed her away_

"_Gil I'm sorry…….. I'm so so sorry"_

"_You wanted this Sara!……. You where the one who wouldn't let it drop……… I wasn't the one who asked you out…. It was you Sara, you kept on and on at me until I caved in"_

"_I know and I'm so sorry……………….. I never meant to hurt you…………. I thought we………. I thought that I would fall in love with you……….. But…………… but" _

"_Sara I think you should leave now" Grissom said as the tears streamed down his face._

_Sara did as she was told and walked over to the door, stopping before she left and turning round to speak_

"_I'm so so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to hurt anyone"_

_It was at that very moment that Sara made her decision it was time to leave Vegas, she could never face Grissom again and any chance for a friendship with Catherine where distorted. At that moment Sara realised her life in Vegas was over._

Dana walked over to the now sobbing Sara and took the women in her arms

"Sara I'm so sorry, I'm sorry you had to go through all that"

Sara became embarrassed at her friend seeing her in her current venerable state.

"I'm sorry Dana……. I'm sorry you had to hear all that…….. And see me like this……… I just……… I just thought that I'd left it all behind, but now I realise I can never leave it behind"

"Don't be sorry Sara you have nothing to be sorry for, and hey I might stop teasing you now bout Mr Right"

Both women chuckled lightly

"So what you gonna do about Catherine?"

"I don't know……… I'm going to have to contact her, Lindsey will continue to hound me until I do, I just don't know what to say and then………… and then there's Lizzie…….."

"Lizzie is Gil's daughter?"

Sara nodded

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

This last week had seemed to go on forever, the days dragged and the night's even more so. She expected this to happen when Lindsey left, but now knowing that both Lindsey and Sara where in Boston all she could think about was being there. Sometimes the thought of seeing Sara again scared her and sometimes it made her feel happier than she'd been in a long time, but there's a difference between the fantasy of something and reality you get. Catherine had learned the hard way. She had the fantasy life with Sara she'd planned out in her head, eventually she'd confess her feeling to Sara and Sara would feel the same, they'd kiss and all live happily ever after, yes right like that would ever really happened, The reality was she'd kissed Sara, Sara ran away and a month later she caught Sara and Grissom kissing and then Sara was out of her life completely.

Catherine sat in her office finishing up her report, she hated this office since 'that day' the day she saw her world falling apart around her. She hated being here sometimes she just wished she could go down the hall to Warrick' s office and ask for him to switch back. But then she'd have to explain why she wanted her old office when her new one was massive and was the office everyone in the lab wanted. But to her this was the very place that her world tumbled apart, the day she's seen Sara and Grissom kissing.

_As soon as she saw the scene before her she ran, ran away as fast as she could, she made her way to her car got in and drove, with no destination in mind, in the end she'd ended up at home alone sat in the dark crying, eventually she must have cried herself to sleep, she woke up the next day on the sofa, pain throughout her body because of the way she'd slept._

_She woke up that afternoon and cried some more, eventually she'd made her way upstairs and made it to the shower crying some more once she got in, as the water rushed over her body all she could think about was Sara, which was usually a good thing, but now when she saw Sara her fantasy was destroyed by the image of Grissom with his hands on her face kissing her. After what seemed like an eternity Catherine left the shower and made her way down stairs in her dressing gown she saw a letter behind the door._

_Immediately she recognised the handwriting. She took a deep breath as she opened the letter._

_Dear Catherine,_

_I decided that the only way that I can ever tell you how I feel will be in a letter, I've tried so many times to tell you face to face, but I'm a wimp, when it comes down to it I'm to scared._

_Yesterday you saw me with Gil and I'm so sorry you had to see that. I suppose I can't really go on with this without coming clean about that. For almost a year Me and Gil have been a couple. I know this will be a shock to you but I wanted to tell you and so did Gil. I was too scared to tell you because I knew if I did tell you to your face I know that I would also have to tell you that I know that Gil wasn't the right person for me, he never was and he never will be._

_Gil wanted to tell you we where a couple but I wouldn't let him, but I think my reason behind this is because deep down I knew that I wouldn't be with Gil forever._

_You and most of the lab know that me and Gil had a connection, but it wasn't love, I love Gil as a person but I don't think I've ever been in love with him. I think it was more hero worship, I did worship him, He's a brilliant scientist and one day I hoped to like him, I think I mistook wanting to be like him for wanting to be with him. When we where together I never felt complete I always wanted something more._

_I think I just need to come out with it now and tell you the real reason behind this letter. The reason I can't be with Gil anymore is because my heart doesn't belong to him my heart belongs to you. It has done for so long but I've never allowed myself to admit that too you. I love you Catherine Willows more than you will ever know or will ever understand. When I think of you my heart skips a beat and I think about you all the time. Every second of every minute, every minute of every hour your in my thoughts, your in my subconscious your in my heart._

_Today I realised I have to make a decision, and it doesn't feel like there's any other option left open to me so I'm leaving. I'm leaving Vegas, I don't know where I'm going and right now that doesn't seem important. I'm leaving because right now I've hurt the 2 people I care about more than anything in the world and if I stay here I know the only thing that will come is more heartache and I can't allow that to happen._

_Catherine I also need you to know that none of this is Gil's fault, he doesn't know any of this, he knows I love someone else and that's why we can no longer be together but I couldn't tell him it was you. I know how much you both mean to each other and that's why this hurts so much._

_I just need for you to know that not a day will go by where I will not think of you. You will be forever in my heart. I love you with every ounce of my being. _

_Love forever and always_

_Sara_

Catherine sat with the letter in her hands and at that very moment she knew what she had to do, she picked up the phone and dialled Grissom's number. She took several deep breaths to try to hide the cracks in her voice

- Grissom

"Gil it's Catherine"

- Cath are you ok?

"Yes……….. Well no……… erm I will be, I need some time off Gil a week maybe more"

- Is everything ok Cath?

"yes there's just something I need to sort out, it that ok?"

- Erm well if you need the time it's fine, you have enough holidays left

"Thanks Gil this means a lot"

- That's ok Cath and if you need to talk you know where I am

"Thank you"

And with that Cath hung up the phone.

Her decision was made she had to go and see Sara

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I have the next 3 chapters written just need checking over.

feedback very welcome :)

XXX


	5. A truth be told

_AN: I've changed this a few times but i still don't feel like i'm doing the issue justice but i can't seem to write it any differently so here goes_

_And thanks again for all the feedback. :-)_

Chapter 5 - The truth be told

Lindsey woke to hear the ringing of a phone, 'if that my mother I'm going to kill her' she thought as she reached for the cell phone beside her bed.

"What?" she snapped harshly

- Lindsey? Why the attitude?

"Oh I don't know Mom being woke up at 5 in the morning usually has that effect on me!"

- oops Honey I'm sorry I wasn't thinking……… with the time difference and all…… erm I'll ring you back later…….. I'm sorry Linds

Lindsey could sense the upset in her Mother's tone

"Mom wait it's ok. I don't have lectures today it's the weekend, anyway I can sleep in……… what's wrong Mom you sound upset?"

- I'm not baby…… it's just that I've……… erm

"What Mom what's wrong, your scaring me now"

-No Baby it's nothing bad I've………….. Erm……… well

"What?"

- I'm coming to Boston, my flight leaves in 2 hours

"What why Mom, seriously, I can't believe your coming to spy on me!"

- No Linds I'm not coming to spy on you…….. I ……. I need to see Sara

"Your coming all this way to see Sara why don't you just call her?"

- I can't explain over the phone Lindsey but I promise I'll explain in person when I see you………. There's just some things I need to speak to Sara about that I can't do over the phone, it's really important that I see her

"Sure…….. Ok……… but I really don't understand why you can't just call her"

- I promise you Lindsey I will explain everything when I see you, it's just important that I do it.

" Ok"

- I just wanted to ring and give you a bit of warning that I was gonna be there……… and if you want to maybe we could go out for dinner one night, tonight if your free? and I'll explain everything to you?………………….. I understand if your busy with your college life. I'm sure I'll see you at the holidays

"No Mom don't be silly I want to see you while you're here……….. I've missed you"

- it's good to hear that baby because I've missed you too

"So when do you get here?"

- I'll be at my hotel just after 3 o'clock. I've booked a hotel near the university campus because I don't know where Sara lives, but I assume it will be near by…………….. And Linds please don't mention my visit to Sara………. I want it to be a surprise

"Sure Mom it's not like I'm going to see her anyway" The younger Willows women yawned

- Ok Linds well I'll let you get back to sleep, I'm sorry for waking you

"That's fine Mom give me a ring later tonight and we can meet up?"

- Sure baby speak to you then……. I love you

"I love you too Mom….. Bye" Lindsey said closing her phone.

"weird" Lindsey muttered before turning over and snuggling into her blanket.

XXXXXXXXXX

Sara had spent a lovely Sunday afternoon with her daughter, they had lunch and played with Lizzie's toys and now Sara stood in the middle of a park pushing her baby girl on the swings.

"Higher Mama…….. Lizzie wants to go higher" The child beamed

"I think this is high enough for you baby" Sara giggled as she pushed the child repeatedly.

The pair spent a further 20 minutes playing in the park. Lizzie sliding down the slide landing in her mothers open arms at the bottom.

"Mama can Lizzie have scweam?"

Sara chuckled

"You want ice cream baby"

Lizzie nodded repeatedly. Sara picked her daughter up and took the child over to the ice cream kiosk buying herself and her daughter ice creams. Hand in hand mother and daughter continued there walk through the park until they found a unoccupied bench, together they sat side by side, Lizzie leaning in to her mother and Sara's protective arm wrapping around her daughter. When the pair had finished Sara took her daughters arm and they both made there way through the park.

"Sara!!!" Sara turned around as she heard a voice calling her. She stood to face a pair of bright blue eyes looking at her with a puzzled look on her face.

"Lindsey... Hi"

"Oh my gosh Sara who's this she's soooo cute" Lindsey said indicating to the tiny brunette at Sara's side.

"This is Lizzie………. My daughter" Sara lifted Lizzie in her arms and looked down at the child " Lizzie this is Lindsey, are you going to say hi"

The little girl rested her head on her mothers shoulder and mumbled an hello to Lindsey.

"Hi Lizzie, your such a pretty little girl" Lindsey beamed and addressed the child, a smile across her face

Lizzie smiled and continued to hide her face in her mothers shoulder

"Come on Lizzie your not shy, this is Mama's friend Lindsey"

"Wow Sara she's such a cute baby…… I didn't know you had a child?"

"Well you do now kiddo….. Linds" Sara smiled at the Blonde women.

"Listen Linds can you not say anything to your Mom about Lizzie I want to tell her myself"

'Oh no Lindsey thought, don't tell Sara Mom's here, don't tell Mom Sara has a baby, god why do they keep telling me not to tell each other things. This is getting ridiculous'

"Erm yes sure Sara, Mom will be so pleased for you, you have such a beautiful child……. You know Sara anytime you need a babysitter you can give me a call" Sara and Lindsey both smiled

"Thanks Linds"

"Well I have to run"

"You got a date" Sara teased

"No not a date just meeting up with…….. Someone"

"Ok you have fun Linds and I'll see you soon"

"Bye Sara, bye Lizzie" Lindsey said waving at the tiny brunette

With that both women parted ways. Sara headed over to her car.

Sara thought for a minute about Lindsey seeing Lizzie, She felt bad at the fact that she wasn't happy Lindsey saw her daughter, she Loved her daughter more than anything so why was it so bad that the young Willows had met her, How could she be ashamed of her own daughter, Sara began to get mad with herself she sat in her car thinking about her feelings. It wasn't the fact that she was ashamed of her daughter she was ashamed of what she'd done, she left her old life behind her not sharing the most important part of her future, her child. She made her decision at that moment she needed to speak to Catherine and tell her about Lizzie and explain why she was here and why she made the decisions she did.

She looked in the back seat to see a sleeping figure and pulled her phone from her pocket. She felt her heart beat as she typed the number in that she still remembered after all these years, the phone rang for what seemed like eternity before she heard a click

- Hi I can't get to the phone right now, leave a message and I'll get back to you.

Sara sighed as she heard Catherine's voice on the answering machine. The tears she didn't realise she'd been fighting ran down her face. "Fuck" she exclaimed angrily throwing her phone on the seat beside her, then turning to check her daughter was still sleeping. She placed her head in her hands and let herself sob silently.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Catherine sat in the diner waiting for her daughter to arrive, she reread the menu over and over again, 'Come on Linds I need to tell you this while I still have the guts' Catherine thought as she looked down at her watch.

"Hey Mom" the smiling blonde said has she approached Catherine. The young woman leaned over and hugged her Mom before giving her a kiss and the cheek and taking a seat opposite.

"Hey honey how are you?" Catherine said as she moved around uneasy

"I'm good thanks, but you already know that….. Come on Mom what's going on?"

"Erm……. Can we order first and I'll try to explain things to you"

"sure if that's what you want"

The two women sat in the diner for almost an hour discussing Lindsey's first week at college and Catherine passed on messages from the other members of the graveyard shift, Catherine still hadn't addressed the issue she was here to speak to her daughter about.

"Mom……… are you gonna tell me why you're here?" Lindsey said looking her mother right in the eyes.

Catherine shifted uneasily.

"Ok Linds I'm sorry………. Like I said I'm here to see Sara"

"but why couldn't you just ring her"

"What I have to say to her can only be said to her face, plus I really need to see her………………….. You know that Sara just left?, she was there one minute and not there the next, I never got the chance to say goodbye to her"

"Why did she leave? I don't understand why she didn't say goodbye to all her friends it makes no sense"

"I know it doesn't Linds but it's very complicated………………. Sara left because I found out something that upset me……………… She left because she thought that if she stayed I would be upset"

"What did you find out?"

"it doesn't matter Linds……. It's in the past……… "

"Mom stop it………….. Stop holding out on me……. I want to know what happened!" Lindsey said getting angry with her Mothers lack of explanation for the whole situation.

Catherine could feel the tears welling behind her eyes, she tried so hard to regain her composure she really didn't want to break down in tears in front of her daughter. Lindsey could see how uncomfortable her mother was finding the whole situation.

Resting her hand on her mothers shoulder Lindsey looked into her mothers eyes

"Mom please I just want to help"

"can we go somewhere else Honey?" Catherine looked up at her daughter

"Sure Mom do you want to come back to my dorm, or shall we go to the hotel?"

"Hotel……………. I don't wanna cramp your style" Cath said forcing a smile, trying her best to make light of the situation.

After a five minute walk down the street Catherine and Lindsey arrived in Catherine's hotel room.

The room was massive, 2 double beds filled the room along with a sofa, a dressing table and a mini bar.

Catherine took her shoes and coat off and sat on one of the beds, Lindsey did the same and sat on the bed opposite her Mother.

"Mom are you going to tell me?"

Catherine couldn't hide her upset any longer, the tears began to flood from her eyes as sobs escaped her throat.

Lindsey was shocked to see the sight before her. Her mother had always been so strong, she'd never seen her like this before. Lindsey took a seat beside her mother and hugged her mother fiercely.

"Mom please just tell me………… what ever it is Mom………… it's ok…….. Just please tell me why your so upset?"

"it's…… Sara" Catherine said between sobs

"What's she done to upset you so much? I don't understand Mom, you keep giving me half of a story. Please just tell me the truth, tell me what she did to upset you?"

Cath took a 3 deep breaths in an attempt to stop her sobbing, she looked up at her daughter and tried to force a smile.

"I'm sorry Honey"

"It's ok Mom really" Lindsey looked at her Mom concern reflecting in her baby blues.

"Ok………The day before Sara left was Sara's birthday, we where all going out for a meal and a dance, so I went to Gil's office to tell him that I was leaving to go get changed for Sara's party………………. But when I got there I saw him…………… I saw him with Sara, they where kissing in his office"

Cath's eyes began to fill with more tears as she remembered the image of Sara and Grissom together.

"and that's why you where upset?……………. I still don't understand"

Catherine began to sob.

"I was upset because the person I loved was kissing someone else…………"

"You mean uncle Gil????……. But I asked you about him and you said the idea was gross he was like your big brother"

Catherine looked at her daughter, hoping that she would get what she was saying without her having to say it aloud.

"You mean Sara…………….. Sara………. As in my teacher Sara Sidle???"

Catherine just looked at her daughter unable to reply to the question, she looked down at the floor and nodding a 'yes' in reply to her daughters question.

"Lindsey I'm sorry………."

Lindsey stayed silent for a few minutes before taking her Mothers hand and looking up at her Mothers eyes.

"Mom…….. It's ok. You don't need to be sorry, you've done nothing wrong……. I'm just shocked thats all….. I just had no idea….. You and Sara didn't even appear to be that good of friends that's all……………… did you………….. Where you…………… I mean where you and Sara a couple?"

"No we where never a couple, I wasn't brave enough to tell Sara how I felt, and even if I did she was with Grissom………… plus the other billion reasons why me and Sara could never work…………… when Sara left Vegas she wrote me a letter………….. It appeared that she felt the same as I did about her, but she left, she hurt me when I saw her with Grissom and she knew if she where to be with me it would hurt Grissom, she knew how much Mine and Gil's friendship meant so she left……… and I've never heard from her since"

"Wow how can all this have happened and I didn't notice anything?"

"You where a teenager Linds living your rebellious years" Catherine laughed at the memory "Plus I tried so hard to hide the fact that I had feelings for Sara I manages a whole 6 years without even admitting it to myself so no one knew……"

"Mom why are you here?……………….. I mean are you here to tell Sara how you feel or are you here to say goodbye?"

"I really don't know Honey………………………. I think I just need to see Sara and see where we both stand………….. She if there's any chance for us……………"

Lindsey was shocked at her mothers confession, but determined to support her mother in what ever decision she made. Just like her Mom had always been there for her, it was now her turn to be there for her Mother.

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_Next chapter is very long... or i could split it into 2 and have a very short one first i need to get writing because i've nothing left written after this next chapter._


	6. The Moment of truth

-1_AN: Thanks again for all the feedback. _

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Chapter 6 - The Moment of truth

Catherine stood outside the entrance of the physics department building, could she really do this after all this time could she face Sara? Could she walk in there and forget all the pain she caused her, could she walk in there and pretend that Sara was never more than a friend, what was the point of it all, why was she here?

Did she need closure or did she want fresh start, did she want to finally put an end to wondering and regret or did she want to begin a new, attempt to built something between the pair, could they be friends again?

'Come on Cath you gotta think straight, you need to know what to say you need a plan' the night before after Lindsey left Catherine had spent hours planning what she was going to say to Sara over and over again, sometimes she wanted to go in there and ask for a fresh start while others she wanted to go In and tell Sara how much hurt she caused and say goodbye to the brunette forever.

Catherine took a deep breath as she grabbed for the door handle and made her way into the building. She quickly got there bearings and headed for the reception area. A grey haired women sat behind the desk. Catherine smiled at the women and addressed her

"Hello, I'd like to see Sara Sidle…… erm Doctor Sidle"

"Can I ask who's visiting"

"It's ca….. it's a friend"

The women looked at the nervous blonde and reached for the phone, pressing extension number one 1.

- Hello Harvard Physics Sara Sidle speaking

"Hello Doctor Sidle I have a visitor here for you in the reception area?"

- Who is it Carol?

"A friend of yours…………… Shall I send her through?"

- Can you just give me 5 minutes I've got Lizzie with me today, Dana will be here for her soon.

" Sure Doctor Sidle"

The women looked up and addressed Catherine "Doctor Sidle will be with you shortly"

"Errrm…. Thanks" Catherine replied as she began to look at the notice board behind her.

Catherine looked at the board for minutes, not taking in any of the information just starring into nothingness

"Mom?"

Catherine turned to face her daughter

"Linds….. Hi" Catherine said nervously

"Are you here to see her?"

"yes Linds………… I need to do something………… just try to make sense of things"

"it's ok Mom" Lindsey said to her mother sensing her discomfort "I hope you get some comfort from seeing her………. I hope you can be happy again" Lindsey said hugging her mother.

"Thanks Linds"

"Anytime Mom……."

"Linds are you ready?" Catherine and Lindsey both looked to see Torri Approaching

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt"

"That's fine Tor, I'd like you to meet my Mom"

Torri smiled at Catherine reaching for her hand.

"Hi Miss Willows, it's nice to meet you, Lindsey talks about you lots………. Her Mom the amazing CSI"

Lindsey blushed and Catherine smiled "Well thank you Torri I've heard a lot about you too, it's nice to meet you too"

Lindsey looked at her Mom " I better get going, don't wanna be late for class……. Good luck Mom…… I love you"

"Thank you Honey and I think I'll need it"

The women where interrupted by the cries of a baby, Dana walked through the corridor with a crying Lizzie in her arms. "Shhh Lizzie it's ok we'll come back and see Mama soon" Catherine smiled as she saw the baby, as she remembered when Lindsey had been so tiny and helpless.

"Hi Doctor Fielding" Torri said addressing the Doctor

"Hi Torri……. Lindsey……."

Dana's face suddenly seemed expressionless as she met the gaze of the other women in the group.

Catherine addressed the women and smiled

"Hi, you have a lovely little girl there……. I remember when my baby girl was so tiny" Catherine said placing her hand on Lindsey's shoulder.

Dana got all the confirmation she needed.

"yes……… erm sorry I gotta run" Dana said has she rushed past the group

Catherine watched the women leave and cocked at eyebrow at the women's odd behaviour.

Lindsey's face had become panic stricken as she realised she never told her mother about Lizzie, although Sara asked her not too, she still believed her mother needed some warning before she got another shock.

"Miss…………. Miss………" Catherine looked up at the receptionist "Doctor Sidle will see you now"

"Mom……… I erm…… there's something I need to Errrm……."

"Linds tell me later I need to do this before I loose the nerve"

Catherine kissed her daughter on the cheek and headed to Sara's office.

"Good luck Mom" Lindsey shouted after her mother.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sara sat at her desk typing up a letter at her computer when she heard to knock on the door. She didn't look up from the screen

"Come in"

She heard the door open slowly and looked up to see the Women stood before her, she lost all ability to speak as she took in the sight before her. Her eyes where transfixed as she heard words being spoke

"Sara"

"Erm Sara"

"Catherine….. I'm just…… I don't know what….. I mean I'm just surprised to see you"

"Sorry if it's a bad time I can come back…. I mean I know you must have lots of work to do"

Sara could sense Cath's nerves as she began to take a step back towards the door

"No Cat please don't go I'm just a little shocked is all please come in and take a seat"

Cath finally stepped away from the door closing it behind her and walked over to the other side of Sara's desk facing the brunette.

The 2 women sat silently for what seemed like an age to Sara finally she decided she had to break the silence

"So you're here….. I mean at Harvard" 'how observant of you Sidle' Sara thought to herself

"yes I spoke to Linds she told me you where here……. I wanted to……. I mean I felt….. I needed to see you…. I needed to know your ok"

"I'm ok Cat…. And I'm….I'm sorry for how I left things…. I mean just a letter. I wanted to see you so much but…… but I knew if I did………. If I did see you I'd never be able to leave"

"Sara I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I didn't tell you…. I didn't explain things to you….. After I….. after I kissed you"

Sara could feel her cheeks flush at just the thought of the kiss she shared with Catherine all those years ago

"Cath we where both there I could have said something…. I could have stayed instead of running out on you. I just didn't know what it meant and then there was………. And then there was Grissom"

They both sat in silence for several minutes Sara could see Catherine wince in pain as if someone had shot her at the mention of her former lovers name

"Cat I'm sorry"

"Don't be Sara it's the past…… it's all in the past"

Sara did know how to take that last statement did Catherine mean she was forgiven and they could start a new maybe see how things went or did she mean it was in the past never to be seen again.

"Sara I'm sorry for coming here unannounced and imposing on you at work….. I don't know what I was thinking"

"Please stop apologising……. I'm glad you're here……. I was going to call you when I finally got the nerve, I promised Linds I would" Sara could see her last statement hadn't come out as she had intended and Catherine looked again hurt "I didn't mean it like that I wanted to call you, I have done everyday since I've been here, not a single day as passed that I've not thought of you. It's just seeing Lindsey here it reminds me so much of seeing you around…… it makes me think of you even more than usual………. OK I'll shut up now"

Sara blushed at how bold her last statement had been, she looked down at the table and fidgeted. She looked at her hands begging them to stay still. It wasn't until she felt Catherine's hands on top of her own that the movement stopped. Sara looked up and peered into Catherine's eyes

"Sara you don't need to shut up….. I'm glad you said those things. I think of you too…. Everyday. I wonder if your ok, if your happy, and also most I wonder if you think of me too…….. So don't feel bad for saying those things because that's what I wanna hear"

Sara smiled taking Catherine's hand in her own

RING RING RING

"You should probably get that"

"yes I should" Sara said pulling her hand away and reaching for the phone

"Hello Harvard Physics Sara Sidle speaking"

- Hey Sar sorry to disturb you, if I am right in my assumptions the object of your affection is in there with you

"Your not wrong"

- Ok well I'm real sorry but it's Lizzie she won't settle, she just keeps asking for you, I didn't want to barge in there so I thought I'd call first

Sara thought for a moment what should she do, she hadn't even got to the part where she told Catherine about Lizzie. But her daughter had to come first

"Dana can you bring her to my office please?

- Sure where on our way…… and Sar I'm sorry

Sara put the phone down and looked up at Catherine

"Sara what's wrong?….. Are you ok?"

"yes…… erm there's something I need to tell you, I was going to explain much more before I did but this can't wait……..."


	7. Mini Me

-1_AN: continued from The moment of truth_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Chapter 7 - Mini me

Sara put the phone down and looked up at Catherine

"Sara what's wrong?….. Are you ok?"

"yes…… erm there's something I need to tell you, I was going to explain much more before I did but this can't wait……. Catherine I have a daughter and she's not feeling well so my colleges gonna bring her here. I promise I'll explain everything"

Catherine sat there in shock. Sara could read her mind, she was assuming that Sara was married, settled down with a child. If only that was it would it be easier for Cath.

"OK" was all Catherine could manage

"Cat it's not what you think….. But it's complicated"

KNOCK KNOCK

Sara made her way to the door quickly and was greeted with the site of her crying daughter clinging to Dana's neck. Sara looked down at the child and reached her arms out to her. The child clang to Sara and settled on her mothers shoulder, her cries died down but her sobs continued

"Shhh Baby it's ok mama's got you"

Sara looked up at her colleague

"Thanks Dane I think she's just tired, she doesn't seem to have a fever" Sara said feeling the Childs forehead

"I'm sorry Sara I knew you where busy but she just kept asking for you and she was really upset"

"Its fine Dana don't worry, Thanks for looking after her for me"

"Your more than welcome, I'll see you later"

Dana walked away from the door mouthing 'good luck' at Sara as she left

Sara took a deep breath and she turned to face Catherine

"She's a beautiful baby Sara…. I saw her with your friend in the hall before"

Catherine walked over to the pair and took the child's hand in her own

"Hey little one" the child smiled at Catherine continuing to rest her head on her mothers shoulder

Sara looked between Catherine and her daughter

"Lizzie this is Catherine Mama's friend, say hello"

The child looked up at Catherine and smiled a weak smile

"Hello Cafareen"

Sara and Catherine both smiled as the girl pronounced Catherine's name

"Cat why don't we sit down on the sofa over there" Sara indicated to a large sofa to the left of them

"There's some things I need to tell you……… and I don't know if your going to like them but If…….. If we have any chance of being……. Friends again I need to be honest with you"

"Ok" Catherine said walking over to the sofa.

Sara sat at one end of the sofa and Catherine sat at the other a sleepy Lizzie lay between them her head on Sara's lap

"Ok Cat I can't begin to tell you how nervous I am about this so I think it's probably better if I just tell you everything right up and I promise to answer any questions you may have at the end but I need to tell you this before I loose the courage"

"Ok Sara but please don't be afraid of my reaction and please don't think that it will make me…… make me love you any less"

Sara could feel the tears well behind her eyes, The lent over and took Catherine's hand in hers as she began to tell Catherine her story.

"Ok well I'm gonna be completely honest with you here cat or there's not really much point in this. When I met you I was instantly drawn to you, I wanted to be your friend, I wanted to get to know you. But no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't seem to break down that barrier between us, you and I had a really tense relationship to start with I know you saw me as an outsider someone sent to spy on you, but Cat that was never my intention I just wanted to be part of the team and eventually I felt like that after many years I began to feel like I fit in, sometimes we'd go out as a team and it was great. Sometimes I would just sit back and watch you talking to Nick or Warrick and see the friendship there and I just wished that could be me. Eventually we seemed to tolerate one another we would chat at work and we got on.

Eventually I realised that even though we where barely friends I wanted us to be more than friends. I couldn't keep my eyes of you at work and I knew I could go on like that. So then Grissom came along, and along time ago I believed I loved Grissom, we seemed like two peas in pod we where so alike in many ways, mainly the fact that neither of us where really people persons. So then Grissom asked me out and I accepted. I asked him out years before and he rejected me and that didn't hurt me, sure it hurt my feelings but it wasn't a broken heart kind of hurt and I think at that point I should have realised that as much as I loved Grissom as a person I wasn't in love with him. We'd been dating for almost a year and I kept hoping that one day I would fall in love with him but it never happened because…….. Because I was In love with you.

Then you saw us in Grissom's office, that day I planned on leaving him I went there to tell him that it was over that I didn't love him. I told him I needed to speak to him but he said he had something to do first and he kissed me and that's when you walked in………… Cat I'm so sorry you had to see that, after you left I cried I told him it was over that I didn't love him, then he cried.

That was when I realised I had to leave I saw the look of hurt on your face when you left and I saw it again on Grissom's face when I left and I knew I had to go. I couldn't hurt the 2 people I loved the most. So I left I went back to Frisco for a while then within a month I was here. When I got here I had to go to the doctors to register and he told me I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do, but I couldn't go back to Vegas. So I decided to stay here and raise Lizzie alone…….. And that's it….. God I feel like I've been talking forever" Sara said wiping the tears from her eyes.

Sara looked down at her sleeping daughter then up at Catherine, she saw Catherine's eyes full of tears. But she also saw a look of understanding, love and compassion.

"Sara I'm so sorry you had to go through all this alone, I just wish you'd have called or wrote a letter anything"

"I know Cat I wanted to so much but I was too scared. I didn't want to be with Grissom and didn't think you'd want to know me"

"Sara why did you ever think that?"

"because of what I did…… because of Lizzie"

"Sara she's your child, she's part of you. I would love her just as much as I love you"

"Do you Cat……. Do you love me?" Sara said between sobs

Catherine stood before Sara taking the sleeping child from her arms kissing the bundle on her forehead before placing her on the couch that she had just vacated. She stood before Sara look her hands and brought her to her feet.

Sara didn't know what Catherine's plan was she was scared that she was going to leave

"I'm sorry Cat I'm so so Sorry"

"Shhh Sara, you'll wake the baby"

Catherine pulled Sara to her and hugged the taller women fiercely

"As to your earlier question Miss Sidle….. I do love you, I've always loved you"

"I love you too"

Sara placed her hands on either side of Catherine's face and pulled her head down to meet her own. They stood there foreheads touching and looked into each others eyes

"You have no idea how long I've waited for this" Sara said as she pulled Catherine's head even closer

"I think I do" Catherine said as she brought her lips to meet Sara's. Has there lips met both women felt the same spark they'd felt all those years ago, the kiss was soft and sweet full of love commitment. Both women

Sighed as they rested there foreheads on each others.

"Well Sidle do you believe I love you yet?"

Sara smirked up at Catherine, who was wearing a big smirk of her own

"Well I'm still not 100 sure but it's a start" Sara laughed

Her laughter was soon cut short as Catherine's lips met hers again this time much more forceful it was driven by pure lust and want. There lips crushed together and Sara felt Catherine's tongue brush her lips seeking entrance to her mouth, Sara moaned as she allowed Catherine the entrance she desired. Sara sank into the kiss allowing Catherine full control until she couldn't take it anymore. She backed Catharine up against the wall and her tongue fought it's way into her lovers mouth. Catherine whimpered at the loss of control and the lovers continued there fight for dominance of the kiss.

RING RING RING RING

The lovers pulled apart and looked at one another pure lust showing behind each pair of eyes

"Sara…. Phone"

"What" Sara heard the ringing as she remembered why they weren't kissing anymore.

"yes I should get it" Sara said as she walked over to the phone

"Hello……… erm Sara Sidle speaking"

- Hello Dr Sidle I have your 2 o'clock appointment waiting in reception, shall I sent him in?

"NO… I mean no I'll be out in a minute…….. Thanks carol" Sara said putting the phone down.

Sara looked over to where she left Catherine standing only to discover she wasn't there. I wash of panic spread over her until she heard that unforgettable voice

"Hey I'm here you didn't think I'd leave after that kiss did you, the phone woke Lizzie"

Sara looked at the site before her. Catherine Willows was sat on the sofa was a still sleepy Lizzie sat on her lap. She couldn't hide the grin that spread across her features.

"That was reception I have an appointment I need to go too. But now I really don't want to go" Sara said as she sat beside Catherine kissing her on the cheek and taking her daughters hand in her own.

"Oh ok…. Well maybe we could meet up later….. I mean if you want to" Sara could sense Catherine's nervousness

"Of course I want to. Why don't you come to mine and I'll cook?"

"Why Miss Sidle I do think I'll have to accept that offer" Catherine said kissing Sara on the lips

"Ok well I gotta go, I need to drop Lizzie off with a friend on the way"

"I could watch Lizzie….. I mean if that's ok with you?"

Sara smiled " Are you sure you want to…. I mean I don't want to impose on you"

"No I want to…… I want to spend some time with her if that's ok with you?"

"That's fine…. that's more than fine" Sara said kissing Catherine again

"Right appointment I must go" Sara got Lizzie's things together and told Catherine where the stroller was.

"You can stay here if you like I can take my appointment somewhere else?"

"No it's fine I'll take Lizzie to the park and get something to eat"

"Bye baby you be a good girl for Catherine" Sara said kissing Lizzie "Cat thanks so much for doing this……. For wanted to do this" Sara said kissing Catherine.

"You don't need to thank me, I want to do this more than you can know. Now we will be back here to pick you up at 5 and you can take us home and make us dinner. Deal?" Catherine kissed Sara back and headed for the door.

"Deal, see you both later"

"Bye Mama" Lizzie waved as she left the room

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Part of me thinks this was a bit rushed and I could have built a friendship first and drawn it out a bit more, but it's not gonna be a rush job I assure you I still need to address the Grissom issue hides _


	8. Like Mother like Daughter

_AN: Thanks again for all the feedback and ideas :)_

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Chapter 8 - Like Mother like daughter

Catherine walked through the main entrance of Harvard physics passing a blushing Dana on the way. Catherine didn't know if she should speak to the women or not but she thought she should at least say Hello.

"Hello" Catherine said addressing the women before her

"Hello Ati Da-na" Lizzie beamed at the women

"Hi Lizzie" Dana said patting the young girls head

"Hi I'm Dana Fielding" Dana said putting her hand out to Catherine

Catherine took the other women's hand and looked up "Hi I'm Catherine Willows"

The women exchanged glances and Dana broke the glances

"You have a brilliant daughter Catherine, she's only been here a short time but she's really proving herself to be a very promising student"

"Thanks Dana, I wasn't sure if she'd settle but she seems very happy and it's good to know she's working hard"

"Believe me she is……… so are you looking after this little monster today?" Dana said smiling down at Lizzie

Lizzie looked up at Dana and frowned "I no a monster I am a ickle girl"

Catherine couldn't help but smile at the girls frown, She was a mini Sara Sidle indeed.

"I am looking forward to spending my afternoon with this little one, she's like a mini version of her mother"

"She is isn't she, she's a little cutie pie"

"So have you been friends with Sara long?"

"For a few years since she started working here…… she's a good person and a fantastic teacher. When she comes round to our house my husband will sit there for hours listening to stories about back in Vegas and you CSI's his particular favourites was one involving a comment you made to Sara about decomposed body in a bath…… it's raining man juice was it" Both women giggled

"that was so long ago but yep that was one of mine and Sara's cases……… CSI just isn't the same without Sara around. I miss seeing her hidden in her lad"

"So she was a workaholic back in Vegas too"

"She was indeed……… so do you look after this little one a lot?"

"Not that much. I help out when Sara needs someone. When she has her management meetings at night we'll have Lizzie over and when Me and my husband want to spend some time alone Sara looks after our daughter Megan"

"That's good……. I mean that she has someone"

"Catherine can I ask you something?"

"Yes sure"

" I was just wondering why you're here…….. Wait that came out wrong I mean it's just that I don't want Sara to get hurt"

"I'm glad Sara has someone to look out for her…. But Dana I would never hurt Sara. I….. I care about Sara a lot and I just want to see her….. make sure she's ok and well I want to try……."

Catherine stopped mid sentence she wasn't sure how much Dana knew about her relationship with Sara and didn't want to say anything to upset Sara.

"Catherine it's ok. I mean I know about you and Sara she told me she loves you and about everything that happened back in Vegas"

"She told you she loves me?" Catherine asked with a huge smile

"Errm I…."

"It's ok you can relax Dana she told me too and….. I told her that I love her too"

"Phew that's good then really thought I'd put my foot in it then"

"No you didn't it's ok"

"Well I better get going. I have your daughter to teach"

"Ok well it was nice speaking to you and I promise you I have no intention of hurting Sara"

"It was nice to meet you, maybe we'll speak again soon…. Bye Catherine, Bye Lizzie" and with that Dana left and heading down the corridor "Bye Dana" Catherine called behind her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Catherine strolled through the park pushing Lizzie's stroller with one hand and holding the Childs hand in the other.

'God it's been so long since I last did this' Catherine thoughts drifted to thought of Lindsey at Lizzie's age. She remembered when her baby girl was so tiny and helpless, so sweet and innocent. Catherine laughed as she thought of the image she had of Lindsey of a baby and the image of what her daughter was today. She was now taller than her Mother and anything but helpless.

"Where shall we go first sweetie?" Catherine looked down at Lizzie

"Lizzie want scweam!" the child beamed at Catherine

"What Lizzie? what do you want?"

"Scweam, I want some scweam" Catherine was still not understanding what the girl was saying to her and she could see that Lizzie was getting angry at not being understood.

"Ok honey you take me where you wanna go" Catherine indicated for Lizzie to lead the way. It wasn't more than 10 steps before the pair landed in front of an ice cream van

"Scweam Cafareen" Catherine smiled as the child pointed her free hand and tiny index finger in the direction of the ice cream van

"Ice cream huh"

Lizzie nodded

"Well Lizzie, if we go play for a little while then I will buy you an ice cream before we leave the park ok?"

Lizzie looked up at Catherine with a frown which indicated her disapproval but the child didn't argue she rose her eyebrow and frowned and then continued to walk along

"Definitely her mothers daughter" Catherine laughed to herself

The pair played in the park for hours Catherine chased the mini Sidle over a grass verge before catching the little girl and giving her a hug. Lizzie laughed uncontrollably as Catherine swung the little girl over her shoulder and span around in a circle calling the Childs name. Catherine put the child down, steadying her to ensure she didn't fall over. Catherine bent down and kissed the Childs forehead and looked at her watch seeing the display to read 4.30pm.

"come on honey it's almost time to go and get mommy do you still want your ice cream?"

"Lizzie want scweam" the child beamed grabbing for Catherine's hand

"Ok baby but we will not be telling your mommy about this" Lizzie nodded along not paying any attention to what Catherine said she was too exited about getting an ice cream.

Catherine took Lizzie for ice and told the child she had to sit in her stroller while she ate it the child wasn't very fond of the idea at first but as soon as she held the ice cream in her hands she paid no attention to anything else going on around her. Catherine handed Lizzie the ice cream and then lifted Lizzie into the stroller, the child sat holding her ice cream switching hands as Catherine tied her restraints.

Catherine sat at a bench with Lizzie sat in front of her in her stroller. The child smiled and mumbled to herself as she ate her ice cream.

As Catherine sat watching the child she reflected on the past 24 hours. In the past 24 hours she'd made the most drastic decision she'd ever made, she'd flown out to Boston, Told her daughter about her feeling for Sara, Told Sara she loved her to her delight Sara felt the same, discovered Sara had a baby and here she sat with Sara's daughter in the middle of a park about to meet Sara and go home with her for dinner. Catherine smiled as she remembered her favourite part of the last 24 hours the kiss she and Sara had shared before the phone ran, the way their bodies reacted to one another. The lust, want and most importantly love she saw behind those brown eyes.

Catherine looked down at the child to see Lizzie had dozed off eating her ice cream, the child was covered in ice cream and as she slept she snuggled the ice cream cone to her with her nose dipping into the ice cream. Catherine giggled as she got some baby wipes from the back of the pram cleaning the child up before reclining the seat so that the child could sleep comfortably as Catherine proceeded back to Harvard to meet with Sara.

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_The next chapter will be longer..._


	9. Obstacles

-1_AN- Thanks again for the feedback, sorry this chapter was a bit slower lots od Christmas stuff going on at the minute._

Chapter 9 - Obstacles

Sara sat at her desk a huge smile across her features, her mind drifted to Catherine

' Who would have though that 3 years would pass and the chemistry would still be there, that we could still have a chance to be together, is that what Catherine wanted to? Did she want to make a go of things see if we could be together…… but how she lives in Vegas…….. I live in Boston, would she be willing to give up her work for me…. Would I be willing to leave everything I have here and move back to Vegas, to face the people I hurt, I abandoned, I left behind. What about Grissom, what about Lizzie? Me and Catherine haven't discussed this major issue yet and I'm dredging the discussion because now I have no doubt in my mind that Grissom must meet his daughter. Will Catherine understand this, will it hurt her if I rebuild a friendship with Grissom, Will she support me, will she understand, If we do get a chance will she accept my daughter as her own. What about Lindsey will she welcome our relationship will she welcome Me and Lizzie into her family'

Sara's head felt like it was going to explode as so many questions and worries ran through her mind. She could feel the tears well behind her eyes as she heard a knock at the door.

Sara wiped her eyes and walked over to the door. She opened the door to discover Catherine stood before her with a sleeping Lizzie in her stroller. Sara smiled and stepped back to allow Catherine to enter the office.

Pushing the stroller into the office Catherine stopped and turned around to face Sara. She smiled at the brunette and the brunette smiled back before Catherine claimed the younger women's lips as her own. The kiss was sweet and delicate, but Catherine could sense Sara's discomfort, something just wasn't right.

Catherine stood before Sara and lifted the brunette women's head so that there eyes made contact

"Sar, what's wrong?"

"Nothing Cat don't worry just a little overwhelmed, that's all"

"it's not Sara something going on, your worrying about something I know you Sidle, now come on tell me what's wrong, remember where being honest with each other from now, so spill"

"I'm scared Catherine……………… I'm scared that there's too many obstacles to overcome, I'm scared about Lindsey's reaction to us, I'm scared of…………. Having to face Grissom….. About Lizzie. But most of all I'm scared of losing you again, I need you Catherine and I love you so much, I don't want to have you for a little while and loose you again it will hurt to much I can't do it" Sara sobbed freely now as Catherine pulled her in to her arms.

"Sara listen to me I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Lindsey already knows about us, well she at least knows I wanted there to be an us, she knows I love you and she knows that I was here to see you to tell you how I felt. Grissom….. I can't lie Sara it hurt's me to know that Lizzie is his child. It hurts to know that he gave you something….. Someone so special and to know no matter what happens she will always be yours and his child. But Sara I want to be part of her life, I want to know her to care for her, and just the fact that she is your child I already love her as I love my own daughter. And I do think it's important that Grissom meets her and gets to see his daughter….. As much as I hate to say this Grissom is a good man and he would make an amazing father"

Catherine was sobbing too and the brunette women tightened her hold of the blonde as both women clung to one another tightly allowing the tears and the doubt flow from there body. Sara was the first to break the silence she looked into Catherine's eyes.

"I love you Catherine Willows" she said placing a soft kiss on the older women's forehead

"And I love you Sara Sidle" Catherine said placing a chaste kiss on Sara's lips.

"Now Sidle, I think you promised me and my new friend here dinner" Catherine indicated to the sleeping baby in the stroller.

"That I did now come on lets go home" Sara kissed the Childs forehead and then kissed Catherine's cheek before collecting her things and locking her room up.

Catherine walked into the hallway pushing the stroller and Sara followed.

Catherine pushed the stroller through the door as Sara held onto the handle both Women smiled as they made small talk as they walked out of the building

"Mom!"

Catherine looked around to see her daughter approaching

"hey honey" Catherine said smiling at her daughter

"Sooo I take it things went well" Lindsey enquired as she looked between both women

"Yes I think you can say things went very well" Catherine smiled as she looked between her mother and her daughter.

"So where you going?"

Sara answered this question "Your mom's coming over to my place for dinner………. If you want to Linds your more than welcome to come to?" Sara said feeling a little unsure of her self.

"Thanks for the offer Sara but I'm going out with Torri tonight maybe another time? Plus I don't wanna sit there watching you and my Mom feeling each other up"

Both Catherine and Sara blushed at this comment as Lindsey smiled and laughed.

"And that's my queue to leave, Have a good night….. And don't do anything I wouldn't do" the young blonde said as she smirked before walking off

Sara and Catherine stood frozen for several minutes

"Well that's safe to say that Linds is ok with things" Catherine stated

"I think that's very safe to say" Sara smiled

"Come on lets go home Cat"

"You read my mind"

Both women continued there journey to the car.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After dinner Catherine sat on the sofa with Lizzie curled up into her side. Her hand clinging to the women's arm as she watched the cartoon animals on the TV. Catherine smiled at the simple gesture from the child and watched the Childs features as she watched the TV. The Childs expression changed when different characters came on screen, it appeared that Lizzie loved the pig and whenever she saw the character her face lit up and a smile crept across her small features. Whenever the owl came on screen Lizzie's features changed again, she didn't seem very fond of this character and just looked blankly at the screen and whenever the owl made a sound she would tighten her grip on Catherine's arm.

Sara walked into the living room and smiled as she saw the interaction between Catherine and Lizzie. She saw that Lizzie had curled into Catherine's side and was holding Catherine's arm as she watched TV. Sara could also see the smile and fascination she saw on Catherine's face as she looked between the TV and Lizzie. Sara didn't want to interrupt the pair but she knew it was time that Lizzie got to bed.

"Right Honey it's time to go to bed" Sara said as she approached the sofa. Lizzie pouted her lip and looked at her mother with puppy dog eyes, before clinging into Catherine's side

Cath smiled as she watched the exchange between mother and daughter, Lizzie was such an adorable child, so much like her mother.

"Hey Lizzie, how about I take you up to bed and if it's ok with your Mom I'll read you a story?"

"Cath you don't need to do that"

"I want to Sara if it's ok with you?"

"It's fine with me" Sara said smiling at the blonde women

"Cafareen read me a story" Lizzie smiled and knelt on the sofa beside Catherine

"Come on then Munchkin lets get you ready for bed" Catherine said lifting Lizzie from the sofa. Catherine carried Lizzie upstairs and Sara followed, showing Catherine to Lizzie's room.

"I'll go make some coffee" Sara smiled, she kissed her daughter goodnight and kissed Catherine on the cheek

"I love you" she whispered to Catherine as she left the room.

Catherine got Lizzie ready for bed and tucked the child in.

She sat beside the child and read snow white until the child drifted off. Kissing Lizzie's forehead she turned the lamp of beside the bed and turned the Childs night light on

"Good night angel" She whispered as she left the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sara was sat on the sofa looking at a photo album as Catherine approached the sofa.

Catherine looked over to see what Sara was looking at, there she was a picture of her and Sara on one side and a photo of the CSI team on the other.

"I remember that picture being taken" she said distracting Sara's observation "It was Christmas 2002 we had a Christmas party at the lad, I remember Greg asking to take it and you being so reluctant to put your arms around me, but Greg insisted we get closer and smile. I remember how good it felt in your arms"

Catherine sat down beside Sara resting her head on Sara's shoulder. Sara took the comment as a hint and placed her arm around Catherine pulling her closer.

"I remember too, the reason I was so scared of putting my arms around you is because I knew how much I would enjoy it, and expected to make a fool of myself. I could smell your perfume and I felt you relax into my arms I remember feeling so happy at that moment and wanted to stay there forever………….. And 5 seconds later Grissom interrupted to say we had a DB over at Lake Mead"

"I remember" Catherine said as she stroked Sara's arm.

"Cat we need to talk" Sara said looking at Catherine with a serious face.

"I know we do…… the question is where do we begin?"

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_The next chapter will cover a lot of things if it goes to plan. But it never turns out the way I plan it too, but I plan on answering a lot of questions in the next chapter. I hope_


	10. Obstacles Overcome

-1_AN1: Okay this is a bit more lengthy and nothing liked I planned on in the being but it sorta just wrote itself. I have addressed the issues I planned on a few thing's I've left unanswered but they will be shortly. _

_AN2: I've also changed the rating because although this chapter has nothing too graphic, the next one may not be suitable for the younger ones._

_Thanks again for all the feedback it's greatly appreciated._

Chapter 10 - Obstacles overcome

"Ok well first off I just need to say something. Catherine I love you, I really do, I never thought I'd get the change to tell you, so now I have the chance I plan on telling you as much as possible…… But there's so many things we need to address before we can be together……… I mean if that's what you want….I"

"Sara please don't ever doubt that I love you and I want to be with you too. But I don't really know how or even what our options are there's so many things we need to discuss. But know that I do want to be with you, I want to give us a go more than anything. I just don't know how we go about it. I mean I could come visit you when I'm off work you could come and visit me at holidays……… but I don't know if that will be enough."

"I feel the same I mean we can do the long distance relationship thing, and I'm so happy that you want us to be together, to give us a go……… I know this is selfish but I want to be with you everyday…… I want to wake up with you in my arms in the morning, I want to come home to you after a bad day at work and be held by you, I want to……… go to bed with you at night and sleep with you in my arms….. Among other things. But I know how much your job means to you and how much you have in Vegas and I could never expect you to leave that behind"

"Sara I know I have family and friends in Vegas but the 2 people I love the most are here in Boston. I can't say I'm going to up and leave but I want to. I'll do anything to be with you……."

Both women now began to sob, Sara pulled Catherine into her arms and held the smaller women to her.

"Sara I need to tell you something"

Sara wiped her eyes and looked down at the blonde"

"I leave for Vegas tomorrow night………… but if you want me to I want to stay on an extra week, I told Grissom I didn't have a definite time frame for how long I'd be here so if it's ok with you I'd like to stay the week see how things go between us"

Sara smiled down at Catherine and placed a kiss on the Sara's lips

"I want that more than anything, I want you to stay for as long as possible"

Catherine kissed the women back

"I'm so happy to hear you say that"

"Catherine there's more things we need to talk about………… I think I need to take Lizzie to Vegas I think I need to introduce her to Grissom"

Catherine was gob smacked she didn't know what to say, she knew the child need to see her father, she deserved that right

"Sara your right, he does need to see her, I know it's really stupid my reaction to Grissom it's just that I'm….. in all honesty I'm jealous of him and I know you love me it's just that you and Grissom always had a connection and I know you explained all that to me it's just that I know he loves you and I know that you love me but Lizzie…….. Lizzie is his daughter and the amount of times I took Eddie back for Lindsey's sake scares me because I think that if you see him again and you see how good he is with Lizzie then you may change your mind about us"

Sara was shocked, 'Catherine is jealous of Grissom how can she be, how could she think that I would want to be back with him, I love her what can I do to show her I love her and only her'

"Catherine I love you and only you. I don't want to be with Grissom if I did I would have gone back to Vegas when I knew I was pregnant with Lizzie and made a go of things I would have told him then, but I didn't Catherine because I love you not him, I could never be with him Catherine ever, I lived that lie for so long and I will never ever go back there again, the only person I want to be with is you"

Sara pulled Catherine even tighter to her so that the blonde women was practically in her lap

"Catherine I know that seeing Grissom will be hard for both of us, but there's no chance that I will go back to him. I want you. I belong to you and no one else. I think that if you want we should see Grissom together I will explain everything to him, but that's up to you, if you will feel happier being there when I tell him then that's your choice but it'd like to think that you trust me. That you'll believe me when I tell you I love you and only you"

Catherine spoke to Sara through her sobs

"Sara I do trust you. I trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone but I don't trust him…… If he even loves you a fraction as much as I love you I know he'll put up a fight for you"

"Catherine there will be no fight because there is nothing in this world that could make me want to be with Grissom instead of you"

"Did I tell you I love you Sara Sidle" The blonde smiled through her tears

Sara smiled down at her

"I think you may have mentioned something but I don't mind hearing it again"

Sara pulled Catherine's head towards her own and inched her mouth as close to Catherine's as possible without touching

"I Sara Sidle love you Catherine Willows" She whispered as she brought her lips to meet Catherine's, Catherine encouraged the kiss and opened her mouth as a willing invitation for Sara's tongue. Sara smiled into the kiss as she felt Catherine's mouth open, not wanting to disappoint she teasingly licked her way over Catherine's teeth before she felt Catherine's tongue fight back and duel for control of the kiss. Catherine quickly changed her position so that instead of resting against Sara she was now facing the brunette straddling her lap.

Sara pulled Catherine closer and broke the kiss to look into Catherine's eyes she saw a reflection of her own desire behind the blue eyes. She kissed the blondes forehead, then the blondes nose, then each of the blondes cheeks before kissing the blondes mouth, Catherine fought to extend the kiss but Sara managed to stay in control and escape the kiss, Sara kissed along Catherine's jaw line and neck, planting tiny kisses until she reached Catherine pulse point, when she found her goal she increased the pressure of began to gently bite, lick and kiss the point. Sara's body heat surged as she felt the blonde quiver under her touch and she almost lost control when she heard a moan escape from the blondes lips as she threw her head back.

"Sara please…………….. Sara"

Sara didn't listen to the blonde as she continued her attack on Catherine's neck, the blonde women began to moan more loudly and pull Sara's head closer to her neck.

"Sara please….. We need to stop Sara……….. Sara stop"

Sara stopped in her actions and looked up at Catherine. She was worried that she'd done something to upset Catherine, her worries and concerns where squashed when she looked up to see Catherine, panting hard, hair messed and eyes filled with desire that made Sara want to take her right there on the sofa.

"Cat I'm sorry…."

Catherine looked at Sara and could see the doubt in her face, she brought the brunets lips to meet her own and kissed her passionately for several minutes until both women where breathing heavily

"You have nothing to be sorry for…… But if I didn't stop you kissing me like that….. Making me feel so good I wouldn't have been able to stop myself"

Sara looked at the other women Blankley

"You have no idea what I'm talking about do you……….Let me see if I can help jog your memory"

Catherine kissed Sara on the lips until she felt Sara give into the kiss and fight for control, then she stopped kissing Sara and kiss her nose then along her jaw, finally she began to kiss along Sara's neck repeating the actions that Sara had just practiced on her, when she felt Sara's body react she increased the kissing and biting and brought a hand behind Sara's head for support as she continued her assault, once Sara was moaning uncontrollably Catherine decided to take things on step further with her free hand she slipped her hand under Sara's shirt. She let the hand roam Sara's toned stomach for a while before bringing the hand up to Sara's Chest slowly. Until she felt Sara's hand encourage her movement, Sara placed Catherine's hand over her right breast she gently let her hand roam over Sara's breast purposely avoiding the delicate nipple that she knew Sara wanted her to touch the most. Eventually she gave in to Sara's moaning and gently racked her finger nails over the erect nipple through the material of Sara's bra. By this time Sara was moaning uncontrollably and grinding her body into Catherine.

At that point Catherine fought the urge to continue exploration and forced herself to bring her hands and mouth away from Sara's quivering body. Catherine pulled her body back and lent away from Sara. When she felt Sara's hand attach to her knees she jumped off Sara's lap and sat beside her on the couch a grin plastered across her face.

"See that is why we can't continue" Catherine said looked at Sara

"Catherine why did you stop…….. Why did you make me stop, that was amazing I don't understand?"

Catherine moved closer to Sara on the sofa and brought Sara's hands around her waste and into her own hands

"because if we continue neither of us will be able to control ourselves. How I made you feel just then is how you made me feel a few minutes ago"

"And why is that a bad things?" Sara said as she tried to free her hands to explore Catherine's body

"because I don't want to make love to you tonight"

Sara was hurt by Catherine's words and she could feel Sara's body tense. Catherine let go of Sara's hands and sat back into Sara's lap

"Sara No! I'm saying I don't want to make love with you. I want that Sara so much, the way you make me feel, the way my body reacts to you, I want you so bad……. But I don't want to rush things. Within a minute you had me practically begging you. You have no idea how much I want to take you upstairs and make love to you all night long, but I can't………. I want to wait….. Do things right"

"I understand……. Sorry I over reacted I just thought I'd done something wrong, sorry I know I'm just being stupid. I mean it felt so good and I just got carried away, I've just wanted you for so long………. I'm sorry"

"Sara stop saying sorry and know that I want you to, you don't know how many nights I've dreamed of being with you, how many different ways….. Ok this is not a good way to control my hormones"

Sara smiled and entwined Catherine's fingers with her own

"So you've thought about us…. Together, what exactly do you think about?" Sara smirked

"Sara stop it!, we need to stop this discussion now before I can't control myself and I just have to take you right here right now"

Sara was taken back by Catherine's words and couldn't stop the moan escape her throat

"Well Miss Sidle I suggest your questioning now end, we can discuss this another time when you can make some of my fantasies a reality"

Sara still could speak she felt tingles run through her body

Catherine lent over and placed a kiss on the younger women's lips

"I think I better get back to the hotel……. Plus I think I need a long cold shower" Catherine smiled

"Erm Cat if you want I mean…. Please. Stay here tonight I don't want you walking the streets alone at night and I can't take you because Lizzie's sleeping so please just stay"

"Sara thank you for the offer but I don't think staying here's a good idea especially after what just happened"

"Please Cat I just want to know your safe you can stay in the guest room………… I promise not to attack you in the night" Both women smiled

"I have nothing to sleep in…."

"You can wear something of mine"

"Ok then if your sure that's ok"

"yes it is come on I'll show you to the guest room" Sara took Catherine's hand and led her upstairs to the room across from hers.

"My rooms facing and Lizzie's as you know is next to mine if you need anything just wake me up"

Sara blushed as she saw Catherine smile at her statement

"Sorry Sara my mind is now out of the gutter"

Both women smiled

"Right we better get some sleep"

"we had" Both women stood on the landing neither knowing what to say or do

"Oh you need something to sleep in. What do you usually sleep in?"

Catherine smiled and raised an eye brow. Sara inwardly groaned and felt her desire burning once again.

"Cat please stop doing this to me or else I'll never sleep" At that point Sara had an idea to play Catherine at her own game

She walked into her room took a t shirt from her drawer and walked back to Catherine handing her the t shirt

"Actually I know the perfect way I'll be able to sleep…… thoughts of you have always been enough to……… bring me to release before" Sara whispered as she let her fingers roam Catherine's back and kissed the blonde on the mouth

"SARA!"

"What?" Sara said innocently "I was mealy saying that I can go to sleep and dream about you…….. Holding my hand"

"Sure you where Sidle anyway I think it's time to sleep……."

"Yes it is good night Cath" Sara said as she leaned into the blonde and kissed the older women's lips

"I love you"

"And I love you more"

Catherine closed the door and walked into the guest room. Once she closed the door she took a deep breath and lent her back to the door. Sara walked into her room and dove onto the bed, sighing a huge sigh.

"Catherine willows you will be the death of me" She whispered to herself.

Across the hall Catherine stood still resting against the door

"Sara Sidle what you do to me"

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_Thanks for reading _

_Feedback greatly appreciated_


	11. Morning Bliss

-1_Thanks again for the feedback and a special thanks to Mikachu22 thank you so much for all your feedback and support._

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Chapter 11 - Morning Bliss

Catherine woke up early that morning after sleeping very little the night before, as she walked down the hall after visiting the bathroom she opened Lizzie's door to see the tiny brunette snuggled up with a teddy bear sleeping soundly.

After closing the door Catherine stood at the door facing the guest room, she decided that she couldn't fight the urge and had to take a peek. She slowly opened the door and the sight before her made her smile.

Sara was sprawled across the double bed lying on her side her legs intertwined, a photo on her free pillow that Sara was clutching. Catherine walked over and looked at the photograph it was a photo of her and Sara that was taken at one of Warrick's birthday parties. The pair where sat next to each other on a sofa each of them holding a glass up with smiles across each of there faces.

Catherine smiled at the sight before her and removed the photo from Sara's hands. She gently moved Sara's body over not to wake her and climbed into bed beside her. She lay beside the brunette watching her sleep peacefully. Sara turned over in her sleep and snuggled into Catherine's side draping an arm over Catherine's waist. She snuggled her head into Catherine's chest and sighed.

Catherine could do nothing but smile as she felt Sara wrap herself around her. The pair stayed that was for what seemed like an eternity to Catherine until Sara began to stir and opened her eyes to look up at Catherine. Still sleepy Sara's eyes shot open

"Catherine!, How…. I mean when…. I don't"

"Relax Sara I've not been here long I woke up to go to the bathroom, I checked on Lizzie and couldn't resist a peek at you"

Sara took a few minutes to take in her surroundings, she was in her bed, her body wrapped around Catherine's, wearing boxers and a tank top. Catherine was dressed in one of her Harvard t shirts that had risen above her belly button due to Sara's body being pressed against it

"Catherine I'm sorry for latching onto you like this" Sara said pulling away

Catherine quickly stopped the younger women's movements and pulled her back

"hey stop apologising for everything, encase you didn't notice I'm the one who sneaked into your bed……. And you don't see me complaining at you wrapping your body around me….. I actually enjoyed it" Catherine said smiling down at Sara "Now can you just stay quite for a few minutes so I can enjoy feeling you in my arms

"I can" Sara looked up and smiled at Catherine

Catherine snaked her arms around Sara let her body rest against Catherine's. After several minutes had passed Sara broke the silence

"I like this….. It feels so good to lie with you like this"

"I know what you mean, it feels right…. To be here with you"

Sara lent up and placed a kiss on Catherine's lips. Catherine began to deepen the kiss

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Sara sighed leaning over Catherine to turn the alarm off

"So I better get dressed and get Lizzie ready, she's a monster to wake up in the morning"

"Then don't"

"Catherine I have to go to work" Sara said leaning into Catherine to kiss her "As much as I would love to stay here with you all day I have to work………" Catherine looked into Sara's eyes

"I mean don't wake Lizzie let her sleep…… I have nothing to do all day I can take care of her for the day. If you want me to?"

"Are you serious you'd really do that"

"I'm as serious as the plague" Catherine said with a mock serious face, Which soon changed to sincerity "I was serious with what I said about Lizzie I want to get to know her. I enjoy spending time with her and if where really going to make a go of things she's going to become a big part of my life"

Sara fought the tears that built behind her eyes and kissed Catherine sweetly on the lips

"What did I ever do to deserver you?"

"I'm not quite sure but I'm sure I will be able to think of someway you can repay me" Catherine smiled into the kiss

"I'm sure you will" Sara smiled "I better get ready for work I need to shower and have breakfast" Sara said as she got out of bed

"Well then why you have a shower I will make breakfast"

"I like that idea" Sara smiled as she walked over to the cupboard to retrieve some towels, as she bent down Catherine smiled and watched her move

"Catherine I may not have eyes in the back of my head but you just checked my ass out didn't you?"

"Is it a crime to watch a sexy women as she bends over right in front of you?"

"Umm when you but it like that I suppose not"

Catherine got out of bed and walked over to Sara, pulling her around and causing her to drop the towel on the floor

"Good because I plan on doing it much more often"

Sara moaned as she felt Catherine's lips claim her own

"Cat stop I have to get ready now"

"Ok I'm sorry I will go make breakfast…. It's not my fault your so damn sexy" Catherine smirked as she walked past the brunette and out of the door, deliberately swaggering her hips as she walked knowing full well that the t shirt she wore didn't cover her underwear

"And Sara I too may not of eyes in the back of my head but I'm fully aware of when someone is checking my ass out"

With her last comment Catherine left Sara to make breakfast and Sara headed for the shower.

20 minutes later a fully suited Sara sat at the table with Catherine still dressed in her t shirt eating breakfast

"So what are your plans for today?"

"Well when Lizzie's up, fed and ready I'm going to go to the hotel and book for the week, then take your daughter on a fun trip somewhere, then I plan on coming back here to make you diner for when you finish work"

"You don't need to make me dinner"

"I know I don't need to…. But I want too" Catherine smiled

"Cat you know why you're here for another week, why don't you check out of the hotel today…….. And stay here for the week. I have a spare room and it seems stupid you paying for the hotel when I have a spare room"

"I don't want to force myself on you Sara I want to do things right"

"Your not I want you to stay here"

"If your sure about this then I would love to stay here, I want to spend as much time as I can here with you"

"Good that's settled then"

"Thank you"

"Your more than welcome…. Plus I too can think of things you can do to really thank me"

Sara got up placed her and Catherine's dishes in the dishwasher and walked over to Catherine taking the blondes hands in her own.

"I have to go to work now…… I really wish I didn't have too but I must"

"I know you do just think in 9 hours you will be back here and I will make it all better" Catherine said as she kissed Sara harshly as a promise as what was to come "Now go, sooner you go sooner I get you back"

Sara stood breathlessly

"Now that's a promise" She smiled

Sara and Catherine said goodbye for another 10 minutes before Sara realised she had to leave because she was already running later. She ran upstairs kissed her daughter goodbye. Kissed Catherine before heading out the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sara sat at her desk and looked over at the clock 10 am she'd only been in work for an hour and half and it already felt like a lifetime. She missed Catherine, she wondered what her and Lizzie where up. Sara was so proud of the relationship she saw blossoming between the two. Lizzie was always a pleasant child but with Catherine she seemed very open and free around most adults Lizzie would be a little shy at first and it usually took her a while to warm to someone new but with Catherine, Lizzie had instantly connected. She could see the excitement Lizzie had when she spent time with Catherine but she could also see the trust and comfort the child felt, it was amazing having Catherine around Lizzie, it made Sara smile at the thought of the 2 of them together, how Catherine had been so understanding and welcoming to her daughter and how she never made it an issue.

RING RING RING

Sara was brought back to reality at the ringing of her phone

"Hello Harvard Physics Sara Sidle speaking"

- Hello Doctor Sidle I have a Lindsey Willows here to see you

"Send her through please Carol"

A few minutes later Lindsey knocked at the door

"Come in" Sara shouted

"Hi Linds" Sara said smiling at Lindsey "Come in and take a seat"

"Hi Sara I just though I'd stop by and say Hi……… well really I just wanted to talk to you about my Mom"

"Sure Lindsey what's wrong?"

"Nothings wrong per say, I just wanted to know what you want from her……….. I mean I just don't want to see her get hurt"

"Linds I would never hurt your Mom….. I……. I erm"

"You love her?"

"I do. I love her a great deal and I think she feels the same"

"So what's gonna happen, are you two dating or something?"

"Where gonna give it a try see how things turn out. There's a lot of things we need to sort out, Your Moms staying here until Next week she's going to be staying with me and while she's here and even when she's not I want you to know that my house is your house so if you want to come over anytime feel free too"

"Thanks Sara. That's nice of you"

"Your welcome kiddo…….. Linds" Sara smiled

"So do you know where my mother is today? I have a free afternoon so I was gonna see if she wanted to spend some time together"

"This morning she was going to check out of her hotel and she has Lizzie with her for the day. They'll either be at my house or out somewhere. Just give her a call"

"She's looking after Lizzie?"

"yes she asked too"

"That's good I mean that she's spending time with her……. I might go see Mom just so I can spend sometime with that adorable daughter of yours she's such a cutie"

"Thanks Linds I think your Mom has a soft spot for her too, they haven't left each other alone for the past day, there practically joined at the hip"

Lindsey laughed

"Lindsey…… erm.."

"What's wrong Sara?"

"I just need to know if your ok with things between Me and your Mom? I don't want to cause any trouble between you two I know how much you mean to her and so you mean a lot to me, I just don't want to upset you"

"Sara I am perfectly OK with you and my Mom being together, I'll admit I was a little weirded out at first. It wasn't the wholes Lesbian thing. It was the you and Mom thing. I just never saw you that way before, but seeing you together yesterday and seeing how happy you make each other. I'm happy knowing that your both happy"

Sara felt tears well behind her eyes she couldn't believe how much she'd cried over the past day and the weird thing was there they where happy tears.

"Sara don't cry" Lindsey said as she walked round to the brunette and pulled her into a hug.

"Thanks Linds it just means a lot to me that this is Ok with you. I love your Mom so much and I just needed to know that this was ok with you."

"it's more than OK Sara you and Mom are perfect for one another"

"Well thank you Lindsey that means more to me then you will ever know"

"Right now I've made you cry I'm going to go and find my Mom and hopefully I won't make her cry too" The younger Willows said as she smiled making her way to the door.

Sara stood and followed pulling the younger Willows in for a hug. Lindsey returned the hug and wrapped her arms around Sara.

"Bye Linds have a good day and give your Mom and Lizzie a hug from me and tell them I can't wait to get home.

"I will Sara, Bye" and with that Lindsey left a smiling Sara.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Catherine and Lizzie had spent an exhausting morning together. Catherine had got Lizzie bathed, dressed and fed before taking the child with her to her hotel, she checked out of her room and headed back to Sara's. The pair had played for hours and Catherine was really enjoying the time she had spent with the younger Sidle. She was so relived that Lizzie had accepted her and seemed to take to her so well, it felt like the pair had known each other for a long time.

As Catherine sat on the floor with Lizzie sat between her legs reading a book her cell phone rang

"Willows"

- Hey Mom it's me

"Hi baby how are you?"

- I'm good thanks, I was just wondering what you where up to? And if you wanted to do something? I just spoke to Sara so I know you have Lizzie so I just thought I'd come and spend some time with you?

Catherine couldn't fight the smile that spread across her face as she thought of spending time with her baby girl

"baby that sounds fantastic, do you want to come over to Sara's or shall we go out somewhere?"

- I'll come over to Sara's, I hear your here all week so we can do something later in the week too…… if you want to.

"Honey of course I want to"

- Ok cool well I got the address from Sara so I'm on my way over now, see you soon, Love you

"Love you too baby, see you soon" Catherine smiled as she put the phone down. She lifted the child from her lap and stood holding her.

"Lizzie, Lindsey's going to come and see you now. Won't that be fun"

"Linsi play with Lizzie?"

"She will I think she's really exited to see you"

"Linsi play with Lizzie?" the child beamed with a smile across her tiny features.

Catherine stood in front of the mirror holding the child, she smiled at the reflection staring back at her.

'Who would have thought a week ago that I would be stood here playing with Sara Sidles daughter and loving every minute of it. I can't believe how much has changed in the last few days, how much I've changed how much I'm willing to give to be part of this family. How easily I feel myself want to become a mother again to this child who I have known for so little time. But when I look into those little brown eyes I see Sara I see the women I love and nothing could stop me loving this child'

Catherine's thoughts where interrupted by the ringing of a door bell

"Oh this will be Linds, come on honey lets go see" Catherine says to the tiny brunette carrying her to the door.

Catherine opened the door with her free hand and welcomed her daughter in

"Hey baby" Catherine said kissing her daughter's cheek

"Hey Mom, Hey Lizzie" Lindsey said kissing her Mom's cheek and taking the little girls hand

"Catherine led her daughter through to the living room and placed Lizzie on the carpet where her toys lay before her.

"Can I get you a drink Honey?"

"yes I'll have an orange juice please"

"Ok Hun can you just watch Lizzie while I get some drinks"

"Sure no problem" Lindsey said as she sat down beside the little brunette

After a few minutes Catherine walked back into the living room to see the sight before her, Lizzie and Lindsey sat side by side as Lindsey helped Lizzie read a book. Her heart melted as she realised the was seeing her future, What she wanted most was a family. She loved seeing her and Sara's daughters sat side by side, and she could see the look of content and happiness behind Lindsey's eyes as she playing with the little girl. Lindsey saw her mother observing and smiled at her

"So I take things are still good with Sara?"

"Things are amazing baby. I've never felt anything……"

"WOW I don't need to know" Lindsey interrupted

"relax baby I was just going to say. I've never felt anything feel so right before, everything feels wonderful. I never expected Sara to have a daughter but she does and it just feels like that was the way things where meant to be. She's such an adorable child, she's so much like her mother"

Lindsey smiled "I was an adorable child……. I was nothing like my mother"

"Hey Cheeky, respect for the women who went through labour pains so you'd be here today"

"I know Mom and I love you, You're an amazing Mom and………… Mom I think you'd be an amazing Mom to Lizzie too"

Catherine smiled and felt the happy tears build behind her eyes

"Thanks baby. That's something we haven't really discussed yet but I want to prove to Sara how serious I am about her and her daughter….. Linds can I ask you something, I haven't discussed this with Sara yet because I wanted to make sure it was ok with you…………… How would you feel if I moved to Boston? I know it may seem like I'm intruding on your life, I know part of coming her was to be independent and I promise you. You can still have your independence, but the 2 people….. 3 now" She said looking down at Lizzie "I love the most are in Boston and I want to be here closer to you all?"

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_AN: This whole chapter is very fluffy. I can't help it I love the fluff. I think it's needed to because later in the story I plan on the Grissom issue being addressed so I want to set some foundations before I get to that._


	12. All grown up

-1_AN: Again not what I was planning on but here goes anyway………… more fluff lol_

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Chapter 12 - All grown up

"Mom WOW you really are serious about this aren't you…. I mean it's great that Sara makes you happy but do you not think it's a little rushed I mean. I'm fine with it. As long as you give me my space. But what about Aunt Nancy, Grandma? And all your friends…… I know you love Sara but do you not think it's bit quick it's been 2 days and your already talking about moving in together"

Catherine sat there gob smacked when did her daughter become so grown up

"I know Lindsey but it's not like I've just met Sara and I'm rushing into things…….. I know it seems that way but I've loved Sara for so long, and over these past 3 years I've done nothing but wish for an opportunity to come where we can be together and I just don't want to waste any more time dreaming I want to live this life, I want to live my life with Sara and you being here in Boston too leaves me with no reason why I shouldn't move here, I can still visit Grandma and Nance and they can visit and as for the guys they can visit us and we can visit them. Plus Grissom's gonna play a big part in our life's whether I like it or not…." Catherine went quite realising that her daughter still wasn't aware that Grissom was Lizzie's father.

"What do you mean Mom?" Lindsey look puzzled

"erm" Catherine nervously looked around not knowing how to explain things to Lindsey. Lindsey on the other hand saw Catherine glance over at Lizzie who was playing quietly on the floor and immediately clicked

"OH MY GOD!!! You have got to be kidding me!…….. She's his daughter, how…. I mean why I mean….. that's rather disturbing"

"LINDSEY"

"Sorry I just mean Sara and Uncle Grissom…. Eeeew" Lindsey realised what she had said had hurt her mother as she made her mother think of Grissom and Sara together.

Lindsey reached for her Mom and apologised

"Mom I sorry I didn't mean to do that….. I mean make you think of that…. I was just shocked"

"That's ok……. Anyway the point I was trying to make is that Grissom is more than likely going to want to get to know his daughter so I'm sure we will still end up spending time between Boston and Vegas"

Lindsey sat beside her mother "Mom I love you, and the most important thing to me is that you are happy and if Sara makes you happy then that's fine with me. I may never admit to this again but I think I'd love you living in Boston…………. I mean then I have someone to borrow money from……. Plus my Mom sleeping with my teacher has got to get me some extra credit"

"Lindsey!!!" Catherine blushed

"I'm kidding Mom, your so easy to wind up……….. I think it's great and I'm sure Sara will too"

Catherine reached for her daughter and pulled her into her arms, Giving her a huge hug and telling her she loved her. The pair was interrupted by a tiny hand on each of there legs. The pair looked down at Lizzie who was raising her hands up towards them

"Lizzie hug"

Catherine smiled and pulled the girl into her arms giving the girl a huge hug and kissing the girls hair. Lindsey took the girl from her mothers arms and spun her around before giving the girl a big hug

"Well it looks like I'll be getting a little sister after all" Lindsey beamed up at her mother

"What did I ever do for a daughter like you?"

"I'm not sure but it was probably something really bad" Lindsey smiled as she sat down on the sofa with Lizzie in her arms.

Catherine spent the afternoon with her 2 baby girls they played and laughed, Lizzie took a shine to Lindsey and it seemed that Catherine had been replaced as Lizzie's favourite person. Catherine asked Lindsey to stay for diner, eventually Lindsey agreed. While Lindsey played with Lizzie in the living room. Catherine made a vegetarian pasta dish for dinner. Everything was ready as they waited for Sara to arrive home from work.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sara made her way through the door and headed straight for the kitchen as she heard Catherine banging around. She sneaked up behind the blonde and placed her arms around the women hearing her gasp in shock.

Sara let her hands roam Catherine's body and enjoyed the reaction she got from doing so, when she couldn't take it any longer she turned Catherine around and pinned her to the counter behind her. Immediately attacking the older women's lips, Sara couldn't hide the moan when she felt Catherine's tongue massage her own.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that…. How much I've fantasised about you all day….. How much I want to……….."

Sara was interrupted as she heard someone clear there throat behind her. She looked up at Catherine's face to see a mixture of lust, embarrassment and amusement. Sara slowly brought her body away from Catherine's and turned to face an hysterical Younger Willows.

"Oh my God, Linds….. I am so so sorry I didn't realise you where here or else I wouldn't have……."

"You wouldn't have pinned my Mom to the counter and ravished her"

Sara blushed furiously as both Willows women laughed

"Erm yes I guess so…. Linds I'm so sorry"

"Don't worry about it Doc it's fine" Lindsey winked "besides I think a few extra credit pints should cover for the emotional trauma of seeing my very respectable professor ravish my Mom….. I just thank god you didn't finish your sentence that may have been enough to push me over the edge"

Now both Sara and Catherine blushed as Lindsey laughed and walked back into the living room to Lizzie.

Sara looked at Catherine a look of horror across her face

"Oh my god I think I may die from embarrassment, I can't believe we where caught making out by your daughter shouldn't this be the other way round. Oh my god can you imagine if I had finished that sentence, I would have scarred your daughter for life. I should go apologise"

"Sara calm down she's fine, she's just trying to embarrass you and she clearly succeeded in her task you look like your head is gonna explode any minute, just calm down"

"But your daughter just walked in and I had you pinned up against the counter to use her words 'Ravishing' you, while telling you how much I've been fantasising about you!……………… and your daughter was so close too hearing me talk you about one of my fantasies. This is the most embarrassing situations I've even been in…… OH my god I can never look your daughter in the eyes again"

Catherine took Sara by both shoulders grabbed her, and pulled her down until there lips met for another heated kiss. Once Catherine was sure she had Sara's full attention she pulled back and looked Sara in the eye "Stop it!, your over reacting…. My daughter is perfectly ok with it. She may use it to embarrass you but she is fine with it, she was joking. I know your embarrass and believe me I was too……. But it's done now so come on lets just forget it and have Dinner"

Catherine took Sara's hands and sat her at the table. Shouting for Lindsey to come to the kitchen with Lizzie. After Catherine had sat Sara down she planted a sweet kiss on her lips before serving dinner. And of course Lindsey walked into the room at that very point

"Oh My God do you two ever stop?" Lindsey said laughing again. Catherine moved to serve dinner while Lindsey walked over to Sara and handed Lizzie over to her

"Mama…..Lizzie missed you. I play with Cafareen and Linzi, we had fun and read stories"

"I missed you too baby" Sara said as she kissed Lizzie "I'm glad you've had a fun day with Catherine and Lindsey baby"

"I like Cafareen Mama and I like Linzi too" she beamed up at her mother

"So do I baby, so do I"

Catherine and Lindsey watched the mother interact and smiled at both Lizzie and Sara's words.

Sara got Lizzie into her high chair and made drinks for the other women, as Catherine served dinner.

Lindsey sat beside Lizzie's highchair and smiled as she watched the women work to make dinner. Such a simple task but the way it was done gave Lindsey all the clarification she needed she wanted to be part of this family. Sara and her Mother where so happy together and having a baby sister wouldn't be a bad thing, she loved the little brunette who sat beside her. For the first time since her dad had died Lindsey felt like part of a family. She knew then that she supported her mothers decision to move to Boston 100.

"Linds…………. Linds………. Lindsey….. Kiddo……"

"Hmmm sorry Sara I was just thinking, what?"

"You've been sat there day dreaming your foods gonna get cold"

"Sorry… yes….. sure"

The 3 women and a little lady sat at the table eating dinner together. Each one a smile across their face. Each one content to be together. Each one content to be part of a family.

After dinner the foursome had spent the evening together watching TV and talking. Sara and Catherine sat on the sofa wrapped in each others arms and Lindsey sat in a chair with Lizzie lied across her as they watched TV.

Catherine turned in Sara's arms and whispered to the brunette "This feels so right, here with the people I love the most"

"I know what you mean it feels safe and loving…. I love you" Sara said as she kissed Catherine's forehead.

Lindsey looked up at the pair but didn't speak when she saw the loving look in both pairs of eyes, she had the perfect opportunity to embarrass both women but decided to let that one slip. When the pair finally brought there eyes away from one another Lindsey spoke up.

"Sara I think someone's ready for bed" Sara tried to slip out from behind Catherine to get the child but Catherine stopped her

"I'll get her"

"No I'll go"

"I want too"

Lindsey laughed at the 2 bickering women.

"I'll settle this…. I'll take her up"

Lindsey took the now sleeping child over to the sofa and both women placed kissed on her head and to Sara's surprise and delight both women whispered "I love you" to the sleeping child. Lindsey then took Lizzie upstairs and put the child to bed. Sitting next to her for a few minutes just to make sure she was settled. She moved some curls from the Childs face and kissed her on the forehead

"Good night Lizzie" She said closing the door.

When she walked down stairs she saw her Mom and Sara snuggled up on the sofa her mother drifting off in Sara's arms, she smiled as she saw how happy and comfortable her Mom looked.

"Right guys I better get going"

Sara looked up at Lindsey

"Are you sure Linds your welcome to stay as long as you like…… what I said before I meant it" Catherine looked at Sara and Lindsey wondering what they had talked about before.

"I know you did, I have a lecture at 9am tomorrow and I need to be on form…. You see it's with the head of the department gotta be prepared……" all 3 women smiled.

"Oh that's though, I heard she's a bit of a bitch…."

"I used to think so but now I can see she's a big softy at heart………….. And I love her she makes my Mom happy which makes me happy…. Plus there's this little girl she has and she's a cutie pie….. See I always wanted a sister" Lindsey could feel the tears build behind her eyes, she wanted to tell Sara how much she approved of her relationship and how much she wanted both families to be one but she couldn't bring herself to do it face on so she decided to do it jest. As she looked at both women before her she could see that they had both been affected by her words and they both shed happy tears.

"Come here Linds" Cath said indicating for her daughter to sit on the sofa between herself and Sara, once she did so both women wrapped her in a hug.

"I love you baby" Catherine whispered to her daughter, now all 3 women smiled.

"Sara that's twice I made you cry today plus I also nearly made you die of embarrassment before…… I think my work here is done I'm gonna head home"

She gave her Mother a kiss and hug and then surprised both women by turning and hugging Sara kissing her on the cheek. "Bye guys…. I promise we'll have another night like this before you go back to Vegas…….. I mean if that's what you want?"

Catherine looked up at her daughter "Of course it is baby, I've never felt as happy as I have tonight, spending time with my 3 favourite girls"

"Linds I'll drop you back at campus, don't want you wondering the streets at this time"

"Are you sure Sara?"

"of course I am now come on lets go"

Sara got up and walked over to the door following Lindsey. Catherine walked them both to the door

"Bye Mom see you soon" Lindsey said hugging her Mother

"Bye baby, I'll give you a ring" Catherine said retuning her daughters hug squeezing her tightly.

As Lindsey went to get in the car Sara kissed Catherine on the lips before heading for the car

"I won't be long baby"

"Make sure your not…….. I have plans for you"

Sara smirked as she made her way to the car and got in the drivers seat. Lindsey smiled at her

"What?"

"Nothing……… just happy to see you both so happy……. Sara I am really happy that you and my Mom are together, being here with you tonight it felt…….. Well I felt like I was part of a family. You, Mom, Lizzie and Me….. I want that to be my family"

"Lindsey you don't know how much that means to me, I want that to be my family too……. Just need to see if that's what your Mom want too"

"I'm sure she does Sara I'm sure she does….."

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_I know this is really fluffy again…… I have a dilemma I can't decide if the next chapter should continue from this as in right after and the chapter after be a week later OR briefly explain the events of the week and it be the day Catherine goes back to Vegas……………….._


	13. Together

_AN: sorry for the delay with this chapter, i've been distarcted by 'Wicked' and Idina Menzel in general lol thanks again for the feedback and ideas :-). There will defernatley be at least one more chapter before Christmas maybe more depending on life._

Chapter 14 - Together

Sara opened the door and crept into the kitchen where Catherine was stood at the sink washing up. Sara walked behind her and wrapped her arms around the blonde women.

"Leave it, that's why I have a dishwasher" Sara whimpered into her ear

Catherine smiled and turned in Sara's arms to face the brunette leaning in the kiss Sara sweetly on the lips

"Whatever you say"

"What was that you'll do whatever I say" Catherine laughed

"Baby I'll do anything you want…."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah…… I like this side of you Sara. This playful flirty side" Sara claimed Catherine's lips as her own. When both women needed air Sara released Catherine's lips and looked into her eyes

"Well all I can say if you think this is playful you haven't seen anything yet…….."

Catherine smirked raising an eye brow "I hope that's a promise?"

"You can have it put in writing if you'd like?"

"That's not necessary I'll take your word for it"

Sara took Catherine by the hand and led her to the living room where she sat on the sofa pulling Catherine into her lap

"Cat I've been thinking about when you go back to Vegas"

"Me too I can't imagine not being with you…."

"Well that's the thing, I think I should come back to Vegas….. Just for the weekend……. I think I should see Grissom….. Introduced him to Lizzie and also that means I get an extra weekend with you….. I mean if you want me too?"

Sara was scared when Catherine didn't reply immediately. She was panicked that she had upset Catherine by mentioning Grissom. Catherine soon saw the concerned look on Sara's face.

"Sar I think that's a great idea, we need to face the Grissom issue, the longer we leave it the worst it's gonna be and the longer we leave it the more we'll worry about his reaction. I'd love you to come back to Vegas with me. I want to spend as much time with you as possible"

"Thank you Cat for being so understanding…. I know this is gonna be hard for you…… but I promise you I'll do everything in my power to make it as easy on you as possible"

"Sara it's not gonna be easy on either of us. But I don't want you too make it easy on me and take the pain for both of us. This is US now" Catherine locked their fingers together "WE do this together"

"I love you" Sara said pulling Catherine into a tight hug

"And I love you"

The pair clung to each other for a long time. Catherine began to worry at Sara's silence as she looked up at Sara she saw a lone tear role down Sara's cheek, raising her hand to Sara's face Catherine wiped the tear away and kissed where the tear had fell, tasting the salty residue left behind

"Baby what's wrong"

"nothing…."

"Sara!" Catherine said in a warning tone

"It's just sometime I can't believe this is real……. That you are real, being here with you. Holding you, kissing you. It's all I've wanted for so long and sometimes I just feel I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you."

"Sara look at me" Sara looked down at Catherine's brown eyes "I'm here…. I'm real and you do deserve this, you deserve to be happy and for as long as I make you happy I'm yours…… all I am is yours"

"Thanks Cat I know I keep doing this, but I'm so overwhelmed and no matter what I do I can't get over it. I have everything I want right now….. I have the life I never thought I'd have……. I have you"

"You do have me and I have you….."

"Forever and always" Sara added

The pair sat in silence for minutes just content with holding each other close, feeling the closeness. Knowing they had each other and nothing else seemed to matter in the world at that moment…….. They had each other and that was all they needed.

Sara broke the silence

"I think we need to sleep…. Come on" Sara said pushing the women gently from her lap and holding her hand tightly, leading her upstairs. When they reached the landing and stood in the space between the guest room and Sara's room neither women spoke…… both knowing what they wanted but too afraid to rush the other. So there they stood facing each other.

"Well goodnight Catherine" Sara said placing a kiss on Catherine's forehead

"Goodnight Sara" She replied placing a kiss on Sara's lips, lacing there fingers together. Both women stood holding hands looking into each others eyes.

"Well………. I'll see you in the morning" Sara said pulling her hand free from Catherine's

"yes…." Catherine said as she kissed Sara once more before they departed ways. Each going into opposite bedrooms.

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Sara stood with her back against her door

'Why…. Why……Why? I want her so much, why can't I just tell her, show her how much I need her. What she does to me with one kiss…… with once touch……..with one look'

Sara was disturbed from her thoughts by a knocking at the door. She took a deep breath and opened the door. Knowing exactly who it would be. Before she had change to fully open the door, she was knocked back by the force of Catherine's body pressed against her. She tried to breath but found it difficult because Catherine's lips where attacking hers. She felt her body react out of pure desire and she kicked the door closed pushing Catherine against it never breaking the kiss. She fought to get control of the kiss and pushed her tongue into Catherine's mouth massaging her tongue with her own. Both women moaned in union.

As Catherine felt Sara's tongue enter her mouth she knew she needed her. She tried to fight back and get control back but Sara was too good, she now had Catherine pinned to the door with her thigh between Catherine's legs. Catherine moaned into the kiss and began to grind herself against Sara's leg trying to get as much contact where she wanted it the most.

As they kissed Catherine's hands roamed over Sara's body feeling every inch beneath her hand. When she reached the hem of Sara's t shirt she stopped her movements and looked at Sara for permission. The look on Sara's face sent a shot of pure lust straight to her core as she saw the look of pure lust and need in Sara's eyes. With that she knew she had the permission she desired.

"Sara I want you…." Catherine spoke huskily into Sara's ear, taking the lobe into her mouth and biting gently

"I….need you….now…." Sara said between pants, as she tried to control her breathing

Catherine pulled at the t shirt and pulled it over her head. She couldn't stop the moan escaped her mouth as she unhooked Sara's bra and let it fall to the floor.

Sara not wanting to be outdone brought her hands to Catherine's pants opening the buttons and pulling the zip down. Catherine hadn't even realised what Sara was doing as she took in the sight of a topless Sara Sidle stood before her it wasn't until she lost the view of Sara as she knelt in font of her and pulled down her open pants. Catherine Stood still with Sara stood before her trying to get the pants free

"Cat I need your help here"

Realising what Sara meant Catherine lifted one leg at a time to allow Sara to remove her pants. Sara placed her hands behind of each of Catherine's knees and brought them up Catherine's thighs slowly until she came into contact with Catherine's red satin panties. She stood up facing Catherine, leaving her hands on Catherine's ass.

Catherine couldn't take it any longer and the next couple of minutes where lost for the pair as they both fought to get each other naked. When they where both free of all clothing. Both women stood before one another taking in the sight in front of them. Both completely lost in lust.

Sara realised they where both still stood near the door took Catherine's hand and led her to the bed.

The next hour was a blur for both women as they explored each others bodies feeling, kissing, biting, sucking every inch of each others bodies.

Sara lay on her back with a naked Catherine sprawled across her chest. Catherine's body was limp against her with the occasional tremor that ran through her body that Sara felt as if it was her own. She looked down at the blonde hair sprawled across her chest and looked at the body lying on top of her. The room smelled of sex something Sara had never been fond of but she smiled as she took in the sent. Knowing it was her and Catherine made everything feel right

"Hmmm" Catherine whimpered as she placed her head higher on Sara's chest so she could look up at the Brunette

"Sara that was………. Amazing. I've never felt that way before I've never had so many orgasms I can't say I believed in multiple orgasms, but you sure as hell just proved me wrong"

Sara could help but smile

"I can't believe everything we just did. I've never done that before but everything seemed to fit. We fit together so well it's like………. never mind"

"No….. what you thinking come on Sara……… after everything we just did now you go all shy on me?"

"it's like my body was made for you…….. To make love to you…… it just felt like it was meant to be….I know it's so corny but it just felt so right"

Catherine crawled up Sara's body and kissed the brunette softly, letting her lips linger

"I know exactly what you mean…. it felt right……. Everything about it"

Sara kissed the blondes forehead and pulled the covers over them both. Tightening her hold around Catherine's body.

"I'm glad you're here. I mean sleeping with me……. I mean sleeping in my arms"

Catherine laughed as Sara explained herself

"I'm glad I'm sleeping in your arms too…….and I'm also glad I'm sleeping with you……… although so far there's been no sleep involved"

"Well come on then we better get some sleep I have work in 5 hours and my body has had quite the workout so it needs rest"

"Oh baby you ain't seen nothing yet" Catherine said as she kissed Sara's cheek "Goodnight baby"

Sara smiled "Night Cat"

The pair stayed in the same position as they relaxed into blissful slumber.

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_I didn't wanna go too smutty and break any rules..._

_Thanks for reading :-)_

_XXX_


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